Decay of Agony
by KaixinPhoenix
Summary: Lucy had a rough past. Her past haunts her. And she can't take it anymore. She starts to lean toward to self-harming, and possibly suicide. Lucy denies the help of people that calls themselves friends. She pushes everyone away, not understanding the word 'nakama' and 'family'. Lucy believes she is alone and that everyone pities her. Rated M for mentions of self harming and suicide.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: *This is a slight rewrite***

 **TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARIMING AND PERHAPS SUICIDE! You've been warned ~~**

 **And the cover of this story was edited by me ~ What you think?**

 **Please enjoy?**

Blood was the only thing Lucy knew at the time. Blood was the only thing she saw. Blood was the only thing she could feel. Blood was the cause of it all. And the countless hits and shouts that never seemed to end. Insults and blames became harsher by each day.

Lucy will never forget the sight, will never forget the things that was spoken, will never forget how it had felt, no matter how much she wanted to forget them. No matter how much she wanted to move on, it haunted her day and night, even in her sleep.

Escape. That was the one word that popped into Lucy's mind. Escape and never look back. Escape and hope for the best. Escape and hope that it will never haunt her.

So Lucy ran. She ran without a second thought. With the scars that littered her body, with the scars that left Lucy emotionally traumatized, she doubted she could ever heal. Suicide had often popped up in her mind, but she never had the courage...maybe because of the pain? Blood? Or was it the thought of not living?

Soon, she was taken in by a guild called Fairy Tail. Lucy was skeptical and unsure. Sure they treated her like family, like friends, like a human for once. But Lucy had this uncertainty swirling inside of her, the unspoken fear, the doubts, and that fake smile that Lucy would show. And it hurts.

Day by day, missions by missions, Lucy was being driven closer to the brink of vulnerability and uncertainty. A thought of suicide...

Lucy learned how rowdy and loud Fairy Tail was. She considered it good luck to have kept her scars a secret so far. She didn't want anyone to intrude in on her life problems. Why would anyone want to help a charity case? Someone who was struggling whether to kill herself or not? Why is she even thinking about this?

She had met a few nice people, learned of their pasts and their...obstacles. But that's the thing. They had never, not even once, asked Lucy about her own past.

There's Erza, a former slave of an R-system incident. Which was soon resolved when Lucy, Gray, Natsu, and Happy, with an addition of Juvia decided to help and resolve Erza's case.

Gray, he had lost his parents to a devil named Deliora when he was little. He was taken in by his master named Ur that had taught him magic. She was soon killed by sacrificing herself to seal the demon.

Natsu...well, he was raised by a dragon, and suddenly disappeared on him. That's pretty much all Lucy knows about him. But he always smiles while searching for him. Lucy felt a pang of enviousness, that Natsu still trusted a parent that had disappeared on him...he never gave up, and he still love his 'father'.

Lucy doubted any of that compared to what she had gone through. And she didn't want to find out. Some things are better left unsaid and unnoticed.

Lucy was hysterical when she had found out that her father...can he even be considered a father? She found out that her father had hired Phantom to bring her back...for 'business applications' as he had said. Lucy begged to differ and managed to play it off and tell the guild that her father wanted her for some marriage arrangements. To Lucy, it was hard to convince them. But to the guild, unbeknownst of Lucy, they didn't care as for why, as long as Lucy was still part of the guild and safe and sound. Emphasize on 'safe'.

Little by little, Lucy learned to trust the guild...even if a little. But the thoughts of suicide still lingered on days that reminded her of her past. Sometimes she wished she didn't have those thoughts. She wished she could be a normal girl that could just have a normal mind and smile for real with her friends...Lucy sometimes questioned the definition of friend...What is a friend?

Little by little, day by day, Lucy would recover, but would immediately by thrown back down with another uncertainty, all the fears, the doubts...Why was Lucy so depressed? She hated it so much she actually tried to cut herself.

Luckily for Lucy, her apartment was free of those intruding mages that would break in and do as they like. Must be a miracle.

Lucy made sure to lock all windows and doors, and sauntered to the bathroom and locked the door once closing it.

Once alone on isolation and extreme silence and a silent staring contest with herself in the mirror, she takes a small knife the she had taken from the kitchen. She debated where to cut...her arms were out of the question...it would attract too much attention.

My stomach? The idea seemed plausible. She can just cover it up with some bandages and wear a long T-shirt to cover that.

Lucy took off her shirt, only to be left with a bra. She brought the knife to the skin on her stomach and pierced it lightly, immediately feeling a pang of pain, and a warm feeling of blood trickling down her stomach, soon soaking her pants.

The pain should make Lucy wince in pain. But it didn't. She liked it. It felt right. It made her whole. And she wanted more. She made couple more cuts before deciding it was enough before someone becomes suspicious.

She let it dry and cleaned it carefully and wrapped the wounds with bandages. She takes out a towel and wrapped herself in it, so she can exit and find a shirt to wear and hide the new wounds. She needed to wear the towel to cover herself, because she could never knew if her place had been crashed or not.

To her content, Lucy's place had been left unattended by the nosy intruders. Lucy quickly went to her dresser and put on a long T-shirt and made sure the bandages were not sticking out, or if the blood was soaking through.

All seems well. Lucy needed to do this more often. Once a day? Once every two days? Once a week? Or when Lucy was depressed?

Lucy decided. If she was depressed, she'll rely on that knife to make her feel better.

Couple weeks after that declaration, and before Lucy had realized it, her stomach was riddled it cuts that she had given herself. Lucy was also paler...which was not a good sign. Lucy couldn't afford anyone to pity her for that. She can only hope that they'll leave her be...hopefully.

It was an early morning when Lucy got dressed and put on clothes that would not draw suspicion. Once ready and with her keys, she was on her merry way to the guild that she had grown fond to.

She opened the door and greeted some members on her way in with a smile that she faked. She walked to the bar and ordered some milkshake from Mira, who happily complied.

Then there was a tap on Lucy's shoulder. She turned to see the rest of her team standing behind her.

"Yes?"

"We have a job. Want to go?" Natsu grinned, holding a flyer for Lucy to see.

Lucy takes the job and reads it. The job seems compelling...but she wasn't in the mood. She felt too weak to even summon a golden spirit. She'll be a burden if she goes. Plus she has enough money for couple of months thanks to an annoying dragon slayer pestering her on going.

"I'll past. You can go without me." Lucy said with an apologetic smile.

The three mages plus a blue cat stared at her.

"What?" Lucy felt guilty for declining it now.

Natsu pouted and walked away, slumped. "And I wanted to go on a job with you." Natsu muttered.

"Maybe next time." Gray said, stripping his clothes, walking to where Natsu was, itching for a fight.

Erza remained where she was, staring at Lucy, who had turned back to her milkshake. She walked up to her, wanting to see if she was okay.

"Are you okay?"

Lucy turned to face Erza. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just tired. Natsu been taking me on a lot of jobs. Plus I have enough money for couple of months. So I want to relax."

Erza nodded as if she understand. "Are you okay?" She repeated. She knows what lies are. And she knew Lucy was lying.

Lucy blinked, then sighed. "I just told you. I'm tired."

"Lately, you been really pale." Erza observed.

Lucy almost forgot to breathe. Did she jinx it when she said that she didn't want anyone to notice? Damn.

"I just been a little under the weather." Lucy lied.

Erza continued to stare at Lucy. "I know that isn't true. Why are you pale?"

Lucy sighed and turned away, opting to pay attention to her milkshake, remaining unvocal. "I just haven't had enough of an appetite." Lucy somewhat lied, there was a little bit of a truth in that statement.

Erza seemed to take the bait. "All right. Just be sure to eat some more."

Lucy nodded and smile at Erza. "Thanks. I'll be sure to do that."

Erza smiled back and walked away. Lucy took a deep breath of relief. She needed to do something about her pale skin. It's obviously from losing too much blood. Makeup? Or eat more food?

Lucy had finished her milkshake and opted to go back to her apartment and sleep. She wanted some sleep and rest and felt weak to do anything else.

Walking back to her apartment, Lucy failed to notice a suspicious man in a cloak that was following her. It wasn't until the man decided to speak up, gaining the blonde's attention.

"Lucy."

Lucy paused immediately, frozen in place. That voice was too painfully familiar. She turned to see a man in a cloak.

Wary of the man, she spoke up, "Who are you?" Lucy was really hoping it not who she thought it was.

The man took off his cloak, revealing none other than the father of Lucy Heartfilia. Lucy paled and took a step backwards.

"Why are you here?" Lucy asked, step another step backward.

"I want to see you." Jude said.

"What made you think I want to see you?" Lucy asked with hatred in her voice.

Her father look down as if guilty. "I apologize for everything."

Lucy took another step backward. "If you think I'll forgive you for what you had done, than you can just dig a damn hole and die. I don't want anything from you." Lucy was refraining herself from yelling. She didn't want to make a scene, or attract attention.

"Lucy...please don't be like that..."

Lucy gritted her teeth as she took another step backward. "I don't want an apology from a murderer and an abuser. I don't want anything from you. You're not my father!" Lucy yelled, turning and running, past her house, anywhere that was not near her father.

Bits and pieces of her past came running back. Blood. Screams. Desperation. Anger. Sadness. Hatred. Frustration. Loss. Freedom. Haunted. Everything came back. Lucy relived it all, and it was not pretty. And she hated it. She hated it all. Her so called father can just die and never come back. He does not deserved a daughter's love...he deserves nothing. The nerve of him going to Lucy as if nothing happened. Lucy never been so angry in her life after she had escaped.

Lucy ran and ran until she found herself in a forest, in a clearing. Panting from running, Lucy walked to a random tree and sat near it, leaning on the tree.

It felt nice out here. The air...the night...and the isolation. The silence was so beautiful and it brought music to Lucy's ears. Isolation is just what Lucy needed.

The silence...the deadening sound of silence...it was so calm. But it made Lucy more restless and afraid. It also made her think too much about her past. As least she could cry her eyes out without anyone to see or hear.

Muffled cries of cursing and damnation could be heard deep in the forest, but there was no one to hear those words. Lucy was alone.

 **A/N: As you can already see, Lucy going suicidal was not because of Natsu or whatever the case that authors would create. Lucy's past would the cause of it and lead Lucy to her destruction.**

 **Was it OOC? Let me know and I can find a way to fix it**

 **Review and comment, or like and look forward to the next chapter of this story :**

 **Toodles!~~**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: *Slight rewrite in this chapter***

 **TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of abuse and an attempt of suicide! You've been warned!**

 **Please enjoy?** ?

Lucy woke up with a start, sweating all over. Blinking couple of times, she realized she was still at the woods.

Crying herself to sleep, she never realized that she even had fallen unconscious. Lucy sighed and stood up on shaky legs. She looked up to the sky to see it was still dark out, with the stars blinking into existence.

"I need a soft bed." Lucy murmured, walking back to her apartment, wanting to sleep on a comfortable bed and not on hard ground.

Lucy hopes that man is no longer there...she didn't want to see him again, she didn't want to speak to him. She could care less. All she wanted was to not see him again...ever.

Walking down a familiar path, Lucy sauntered toward to where her house was. She stopped and looked around, making sure that man was no longer around.

 _Thank Mavis_. _He's gone_. Lucy sighed of relief and went to open her door...only to find it unlocked. Lucy would've panicked if she was in her primitive state, but she was too tired and emotionally distraught. She'll deal with it tomorrow.

She opened it and closed it behind her, locking it. She didn't bother looking around to see if someone had broken in or not. Lucy didn't care. Why should she?

Spotting her bed, Lucy immediately made her way to her bed and collapsed on it, immediately drifting off into darkness, not bothering to cover herself with the blanket.

She. Did. Not. Care. Anymore.

...

 _"Lucy. How are you?" A warm voice spoke up._

 _Lucy looked up to see her mother looking at her with a warm smile that made Lucy feel safe. "I'm good."_

 _Lucy would've smile, but she was too sad. Her mother was dying. It brought tears to her eyes. She didn't want her to leave her. She would be lonely. Her father had been distance since her mother had fallen ill._

 _"Don't fret, my little sunshine." Layla smiled, gently cupping Lucy's cheek reassuringly._

 _"But, Mother...you're going to die."_

 _Layla only smiled weakily. "Yes...But I'll always be with you. I'll watch over you. I love you."_

 _"I-I...I love you too." Lucy sniffed._

 _Layla smiled. "Keep an eye out for your father. He'll be lonely."_

 _Lucy shook her head. "Ok...But...Why do you have to go? Please don't leave."_

 _Layla smiled sadly. "Oh, honey. I have no control over this. This is part of life that everyone will have to go through."_

 _Lucy begun to tremble with tears falling down her cheeks._

 _"Lucy. People will have to embrace death."_

 _Lucy shook her head. "Don't leave me alone!"_

 _Layla smiled. "Death is a beautiful thing. You just need to embrace it to understand it."_

 _Lucy nodded._

 _"I love you, my little sunshine."_

 _"I love you too, Mother."_

...

Lucy jolted back into reality. She could feel tears falling down her cheeks as she stood back up.

Lucy misses her. She misses her smile, her touch, her warmth. She misses her mother so much. Why did she have to leave?

Lucy was angry...mostly at her father. Lucy was sad, mostly because she was alone. Lucy was frustrated, mostly because she's haunted by her past. Lucy wanted this to end.

Lucy looks around her apartment and stood up from her bed. In the corner of her eyes, she noticed a piece of paper on the table beside the table.

She picks it up and noted that it was note addressed to her. She opened it and read it half-heartedly.

 _Lucy_

 _I met your father who was waiting outside of your house. I spoke to him and he wanted to say sorry about everything he had done to you, that he regretted ever hurting you like he had done._

 _I know that it isn't my place to ask what he had done to you, but what did he do? Does it have to do with the fact that you're not feeling well? I want to help you._

 _Before your father left, he told me to give you something, the new location of your mother's grave._

 _Lucy, I can tell how much your father loves you. And he seems very apologetic. At least listen to what he as to say. He's your only family you have._

 _Erza_

Lucy was shaking. Not of fear. Not of uncertainty. Not of sadness. But of anger.

 _Erza...she doesn't know anything! She doesn't know what he had done to me! As if my father was really sorry. I bet he said those things just to get something from me...money? Or to hurt me again?_

Lucy sees another piece of paper and assumed it to be the new location of her mother. She picked it up and reads it. She wonders why the location of her mother's grave was moved. It was a little too far from here.

Lucy sat on the bed, not feeling like going to the guild. She didn't want to do anything. In fact, she needed that blade. She needed the feeling on blood on her skin. Her only salvation.

Lucy stood back up and stumbled into the bathroom and locked the door. She opened the drawer and took out the knife and dropped to her knees.

She stared at the knife for a while, deciding on where she should do it. She was tired of cutting her stomach...

Without thinking, Lucy leaned over the tub and brought the knife to her wrist and cut it without any further thoughts.

It hurts. It was painful. Blood was spilling over. It's all leaving. Lucy watched as her blood exited her through the wound with a smile.

Blood leaving her body and almost similar to a point of when everything was leaving her. What's the difference?

She still felt angry and inferior. She still felt frustrated and irritated. So she brought the knife and made another cut under the wound, but deeper. Lucy wanted to see more blood, wanted to feel more pain, wanted to feel her life slipping away. She wanted to end it all.

Her mother left her, her father begun to hate and abuse her, both physically and mentally. Lucy ran away, but it haunted her day and night. She couldn't rely on anyone. She didn't trust anyone. Could she trust the rowdy members of Fairy Tail?

Lucy didn't want to take the risk...She deliberately chose Fairy Tail because of their carefree actions. They don't bug you about your past or why you wanted to join. Lucy saw it as a perfect guild to join and earn some money to support herself.

Lucy slowly bonded with the guild members of the Fairy Tail. She learned to become friends with some of them. Maybe the word friend isn't the correct word Lucy would like to use. Accomplice may be the right word. Lucy does not consider any of them her friend...even when they helped her with her problems with Phantom and her father. This made her guiltier.

Erza. Natsu. Gray. Mira. Lisanna. Cana. Levy. Juvia. Laxus. Elfman. The Thunder Legion. Master Makarov. Wendy. Happy. Carla. They are great people, Lucy acknowledges that. But...she couldn't trust them. Or rely on them. Especially on their jobs with Erza and the boys.

When Lucy had joined the guild, she tried her hardest to ignore her past and just simply enjoy what was in front of her. The idiotic smile of Natsu's. The stripping habit of Gray. The cool mannerism of Erza. She tried to focus on them and the others. But when the Phantom attack happened and when they had kidnapped her, it brought so many memories. Lucy could've sore she had an heart attack when she found out it was her father who had hired them.

Ever since that incident, ever since the former phantom members joining the guild, Lucy couldn't take it anymore.

She tried to calm herself and distance herself from the former Phantom members, even though she 'forgave' them. She was still afraid of them.

Many things had happened. They happened so fast, Lucy did not have enough time to really react properly for her emotions to really take effect. Nirvana happened. Edolas happened.

After Edolas, Lucy couldn't take it anymore. Her father...her damned father is to blame for it all. Lucy wanted to kill him, but she couldn't. She didn't want to see any more blood...except for hers.

As Lucy sat on the bathroom floor, the tub and already filled with blood, and the smell of iron was all Lucy could smell. It reminded her so much of when it all happened.

Tears started to form in Lucy's eyes, flowing freely down her cheeks. Lucy really hated this. She wanted this all to end...She wanted to see her mother again, to see her smile, to be in her arms. A mother's love is what Lucy needed.

"Mother..." Lucy murmured before taking the knife and tried to cut under the second wound. But Lucy became too dizzy to even properly position the knife over it.

Soon, Lucy was seeing two of her bloody wrist. The knife was becoming too heavy to hold, so she reluctantly dropped it into the tub.

Lucy closed her eyes tightly to blink the dizziness away. But it did not work. She grasped onto the edge of the tub to stead herself. She tried to stand up, but immediately stumbled back down. She couldn't feel her legs anymore.

Lucy opted to lean on the edge of the tub, breathing heavily. She felt tired and weak. She knew she was going to die...As her mother had said before, Lucy will embrace it. She wanted it. She wanted to see her mother again, the only person that had really cared for her.

The pool of blood that sat in the tub slowly dimmed out as Lucy begun to slip into unconsciousness.

 **A/N: *Gasp* Was that too fast and sudden? ?**

 **Please review and comment on this chapter. I would love to hear from you. I don't bite! ^^**

 **Toodles!~~**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello!~**

 **TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions and scenes of suicide. You've been warned!**

 **Please enjoy?**

Everybody sat in the guild in utter silence, stunned by what the revelation that was revealed heard from Team Natsu. So many questions swirled in their minds as the time clicked by. They had never expected it to be coming it from such a cheery enthusiastic girl. They had never expected if for Lucy to do something like this.

It was another ordinary day at the guild, and Erza sat a table, reliving her talk with Lucy's father.

...

~Flashback~

Something about him made Erza suspicious as they continued to talk. The way he had talked, and the way he had felt and looked apologetic, she couldn't help but be concerned and suspicious.

After Lucy's father had left, Erza decided to walk in Lucy's house, or breaking in, as Lucy would like to say, and talk to her. But she was nowhere to be found. She stood near a wall, rethinking on some stuff, and opting to wait for the blonde to come back. It wasn't long until she heard noises of a door opening and closing.

Erza remained frozen and mute until she sees a familiar blonde walking into the room and walked to her bed, slumping face first onto the bed, laying their limp and still.

Couple seconds later, after seeing that Lucy wasn't moving anytime soon, Erza moved to stand in front of the bed, and observed condition of the blonde. She looked so pale and weak. Erza frowned as she had many questions she wanted to ask. But she knows that Lucy needed to sleep, seeing that the behavior of the mage had been questionable. She planned on asking her tomorrow to make sure that nothing was wrong and that she's okay.

She eyes the desk and walk to it and pulled out a piece of paper and started writing something on it. After she finished, she placed it on the table next to Lucy's bed and placed another piece of paper that Lucy's father had given her next to the note.

"I will always be here, Lucy. Fairy Tail will be there for you." Erza whispered before leaving the apartment with much more uncertainty than before. She'll need to talk to Lucy to clear her uncertainties. Why does she have a bad feeling about this?

The next day, Erza sat with Natsu and Gray, whilst keeping them from fighting each other. She didn't tell them about what happened last night. Not yet. She need to talk to Lucy first.

It was 8:43 A.M and Lucy had not yet entered the guild yet. This was usually the time that Lucy usually comes, but the blonde mage had yet to enter, to which Erza grew restless.

"Where's Lucy? I want to go on a job with her." Natsu mumbled, his head on the table.

"Maybe he gotten eaten by a fish?" Happy offered, while eating his own fish.

Natsu looked at Happy. "That could happen…"

Gray grew a tick and hit Natsu in the head. "That obviously can't happen!"

"Is it because Lucy's too fat?" Happy snickered.

Gray sweatdropped and glared at Happy. "Lucy will kill you if you say that."

Erza stood up hastily, quieting the boys. "I'm going to check on Lucy."

"I'll come too!"

"Eh, why not?"

"Aye!"

Erza, Natsu, Happy, and Gray walked out of the guild, and walked straight to where Lucy lives. As they got closer and closer, Natsu became more…tensed. Gray noticed this and decided to ask him why.

"What's wrong, Natsu?" Gray asked.

Natsu gulped. "Why I smell blood?"

The mages, plus the cat, turned to him confusingly. There was silence for a few moment.

Erza was the first to speak up. "Blood? Where is it coming from?"

Natsu sniffed the air again. "I really hope I am wrong."

Gray grabbed his collar and shook him. "Where is it coming from!?"

Natsu gulped, staring off into the distance, where Lucy's house was. "…Lucy's"

There was another utter silence, to which it only lasted only for a second.

"She was attacked!?"

"Lushee!"

"Let's hope she's okay!"

The mages started running toward Lucy's apartment with concern and fury and Natsu burned the door without any second thoughts, much to Erza's annoyance. She'll have him pay for that so Lucy won't be too mad.

The mages looked around with concern in their eyes, definitely smelling blood. But there was nothing. Confusion wiped around Gray's and Erza's and Happy's face as they concluded that there was nothing here.

But Natsu was more skeptical as his nose tracked the source to Lucy's bathroom. Erza saw this and prevented him from burning the door. Instead, she used her sword to destroy the knob, letting the door open by itself.

The mages stood with shock when they saw the scene before her. Lucy was leaning over the tub, the tub filled with blood, and her arm was covered with it.

"Lucy!" Natsu ran forward and started shaking her, but she remained unconscious.

"Stop it, fire freak! That may not be the best move. Lucy already lost a lot of blood. The last thing we needed is to be shaking her." Gray shouted, shoving Natsu away.

"Enough!' Erza shouted, quieting the boys. "First, we need to stop the bleeding."

In all honesty, Erza was scared. She had so many questions to add to her uncertainties then before.

Erza knelt next to Lucy who was still leaning over the tub and grabbed her bloodied arm and summoned a towel and wrapped it around her arm to stop the bleeding.

"Is she still alive?" Natsu asked, with a look of concern clouding his eyes.

Erza placed her fingers against Lucy's neck and tried to feel any pulse. It was faint, but it was there. "Lucy's still alive, but it's faint. We need to get her some medical attention."

Gray looked at the tub filled with blood. He wondered what happened. Then he sees something in the tub. "Is that a knife?"

Erza, Natsu, and Happy turned to Gray before glancing into the tub, definitely seeing a knife covered in blood.

"What does this mean?" Happy cried, tears threatening to fall out.

Erza shook her head as she continued to wrap the towel and tried not to move Lucy too much. After she was done wrapping her arm with the towel, which was slowly being soaked with blood, she turned looked at her face.

Lucy's face was almost white. And why did Lucy have a peaceful smile?

"We need to take her to the infirmary in the guild. Wendy can help her." Gray said, snapping Erza out of her deep thinking.

Erza nodded and was about to carry Lucy bridal style, but Natsu beat her to it, carrying Lucy bridal style and ran out of the guild with unimaginable speed. Gray and Happy followed them out of the apartment.

Erza slowly stood back up and stared at the bloody tub and the knife that laid in the pool of blood. She looked around to see if there was anything else that might've happened.

Nothing.

Nothing was out of the ordinary. She eyes the piece of paper that she had written last night, which was crumbled and thrown onto the ground. She picked it up and rereads it. Erza sighed.

 _Did…Lucy try to kill herself?_

Erza placed the paper on the table and ran out of the apartment and ran straight toward the guild. When she bolted in, she could already see the shocked and grim expression on the member's faces. Everybody was quiet. Everybody paused and stared at the door which was the entrance to the infirmary.

Erza stalked to the door and slowly opened and sees Natsu, Gray, Happy, Wendy, Carla, and Master in the room.

The towel that had wrapped Lucy's arm was unwrapped and Wendy was using her sky magic to try and stop the bleeding and heal it as much as possible.

The mages stood next to a wall in silence, watching Wendy tending to Lucy.

30 minutes later, Wendy stopped her magic and fell to her knees. Carla ran up to her to make sure she was alright.

"Lucy-san will be fine. She had lost a lot of blood though. When she wakes, she'll need food to keep her energy up." Wendy said as she stood back up.

"Ok, I'll bite, what happened back there? Why did we find her in the bathroom, possibly dying?" Gray said, already stripping out of his clothes.

Nobody answered. Erza hoped to god that her conviction was wrong. Why would Lucy try to kill herself? Why would a happy girl like Lucy try to kill herself? It just didn't make any sense.

"We'll just need to ask Lucy when she wakes up. But not when she immediately wake up. We don't want to put too much stress in her, as she already lost so much blood." Master Makarov said.

"Maybe the fish did it?" Happy tried.

The mages face-palmed.

~End of Flashback~

Master Makarov had ordered everybody to leave the infirmary except Erza and Wendy, as they are the only responsible one to watch over Lucy. Carla decided to leave them alone and sit with the others.

Meanwhile, outside of those set of doors, everyone was still quiet, still unmoving. They were anxious, they were enraged, they were scared, and they felt guilty to let something happen to Lucy.

"I swear…if somebody had done that to her, I will kill them." Natsu said with venom, standing next to a table, glaring at the guild's entrance, expecting anyone to enter through them.

"Mercy will not be given." Gray added.

"We don't that for sure." Mira said.

"Like I said, maybe a fish tried to kill her?" Happy said.

Nobody decided to respond to that.

…

Erza and Wendy sat in a chair in silence. Erza had her arms crossed, studying Lucy's face. Wendy stared at the floor. Silence continued to fill the room until Wendy decided to speak up.

"Erza…what happened?" Wendy timidly asked.

Erza tore her eyes away from Lucy and look at Wendy. "I really don't know. But Lucy was late in coming to the guild, and we decided to check up on her…only to find her in the bathroom, covered with blood and injuries."

Wendy looked up to looked at Lucy. "Do you think…Lucy-san tried to…" Wendy trailed off, afraid if what she thought was true or not.

Erza sighed. "I sure hope not. I don't see any reason as for why she would do it."

5 minutes past with utter silence, and Erza was becoming restless. She stood up quietly and turned to Wendy. "Come and find me when she wakes up. No one else."

Wendy nodded. "Where will you go?"

"I need some fresh air, so I'll be outside." Erza said as she walked out of the room, and into the room of tensed members that awaited for any further update about Lucy's condition.

Erza ignored them all as she exited the guild and leaned against the building next to the door. She takes a deep breath and looks at the sky.

She relived the scene over and over in her mind. Trying to find a reason why Lucy would've done it. Only to come up with nothing. She had already settled things with her father…so she doubted he was the cause.

 _Damn it, Lucy. Why did you try to kill yourself? Please tell me you weren't trying to kill yourself. Please…I don't need another family member dying on me_.

...

It had been an entire day, and Lucy had not woke up yet. The sun was hugging the horizon, members reluctantly going home, one by one. Erza, Gray, Natsu, Happy, Carla, Wendy, and Master was the ones to stay behind, opting to spend the night at the guild.

Wendy continued to stay in the room with a sleeping Lucy. The others stayed outside, giving them room when Lucy does wake up. And Erza was still outside the guild.

Natsu leaned against a wall with his arms crossed, sad and afraid for his friend. The scene that he had seen terrified him. She had almost lost Lisanna once, although he was not there to see it, but he didn't want to relive that feeling of losing somebody again.

Gray sat at a table, bare of his clothes, and stared off into the distance. Seeing all the blood before her made him remember his past when Deliora had killed his family. He didn't want to lose anyone else. He didn't want to lose any more of his family.

Happy sat next to Carla, with their ears drooped down. The exceeds did not say anything, they continued to sit and hoped for the best.

Master Makarov sat on a bar, not daring to touch any of the booze, mostly because Mira had threatened him not to touch them. He knows all too well of losing somebody important to him. He can only hope that Lucy will be fine and live. He only wonders what happened.

Erza continued to lean against the building outside the building, staring off into the dead of the night, the stars that filled the stars, the brightest of the brightest stars gleaming. But to Erza, they seemed really dull. Erza vowed to never lose a family member…after Uncle Robby, Lisanna or Simon. To see Lucy slipping like that really made her…afraid.

The mage continued to stay in the dead of silence, with Wendy watching over Lucy, and the others just hoping for the best and hear Lucy's side of the story.

"Erza."

Erza looked down to see Wendy looking at her through the door. She immediately knew what she was going to say, but she wanted to hear it first.

"She's awake."

 **A/N: Boooom!**

 **Well, hope that wasn't crappy.**

 **Please review and comment on your thought! I don't bite~**

 **Toodles!~~**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hullo! This is a slight rewrite~**

 **TRIGGER WARNING: Another attempt of suicide! You've been warned!**

 **Please enjoy?**

Erza walked through the dark, empty guild, past the curious members that situated themselves outside of the infirmary. She ordered them to not eavesdrop on them, or they will be punished. They easily complied with a trembling nod and took a big step backward. Erza wanted to speak to Lucy alone, fearing that her conviction may be real. The last thing she needed was the members screaming at Lucy for reasons why she had done it.

When she opened the door, she saw Lucy sitting up, her bangs shadowing her eyes. And Erza could feel an angry aura…she could feel how angry Lucy was. Why was Lucy so angry?

She gently closed the door and faced Lucy. "Lucy?" Erza called out with a gentle tone.

"…" Lucy did not move, she only frowned more and trembled slightly.

Erza stepped closer to her, noticing how she was trembling. Was she trembling from anger or from her health? Erza couldn't decide on which it was.

"Lucy." Erza called out again with her authority voice.

Lucy turned her head away, away from Erza, clearly not wanting to talk. She clenched her fist around the blanket that covered her.

Erza gritted her teeth in frustration of not getting any response. "Okay. I'm going to talk, and you can listen."

"…"

Erza sighed and begun to talk. "Today, you never came to the guild, so the rest of the team decided to check up on you…only to find you in the bathtub. You almost died."

"…"

Erza waited for a few moment before speaking again. "You were out for an entire day. Right now, it's night time. And we have a lot of questions for you."

Erza waited for a few moment, studying Lucy's behavior and actions before speaking again. "My one question that I want to ask you is…Did…you try to kill yourself?"

To this, Lucy responded by lifting her head to look at Erza in the eyes. Erza observed that Lucy's eyes were void of light, it was dim, it was distant, and there was some emotions that Erza was not familiar with.

"And my one question for you is…why did you save me?" Lucy glared unemotionally at Erza.

Erza's eyes widen a bit when she had said that.

Lucy lowered her head and let her bangs cover her eyes. "I have nothing to say to you."

"…You don't mean that…please tell me you don't mean that." Erza pleaded that she was only dreaming, that Lucy really didn't try to kill herself.

But it was real. Lucy really did try to kill herself. She tried to kill herself. But why?

"Lucy…please tell me…why did you do it?" Erza trembled, only on the inside. She couldn't show weakness in front of her broken friend.

Lucy turned her head away, indicating that she did not want to talk.

Erza gritted her teeth harder. "Lucy. Tell me. Now. I want to help you." It was an order. Erza was desperate. She didn't want to lose Lucy. Her family.

"…"

"Lucy. I'm your friend. Your family. Please let me help you." Erza started slowly, walking closer to Lucy.

"You're not a friend. I never considered any of you a friend." Lucy said, with venom in them.

Erza paused, with wide eyes. Was she deaf? She hoped she had heard wrong. She stared at the blonde who was still looking away, eyes still shadowed by her bangs.

"L-Lucy. Why would you say that?"

Lucy did not respond for a moment before speaking. "Why? Because you're just an accomplice. Nothing more."

Erza couldn't take it anymore. She was angry. She was afraid. She was confused. She was conflicted. She was unsure. She was frustrated. She needed some fresh air.

Trembling, Erza stormed out of the room without any other words, ignoring the concern looks of the other mages as she left the guild in a fit of rage.

The mages stood in place with fear and confusion in their eyes. Wondering why Erza was ran out of the guild with anger in her eyes. They peeked through the door to see Lucy sitting up, her eyes shadowed her bangs, and had a frown.

Master Makarov was the first to walk in, gesturing the other mages to stay outside, hoping to break the tensed sensation that lingered in the air.

"Lucy? Is everything okay?" Makarov asked, standing in front of the bed.

"…"

Makarov studied Lucy for a moment. "What did Erza say to you?"

"…"

Makarov sighed. "Are you okay?"

"…"

Makarov sighed again, only in frustration. "Get some sleep. We'll talk about this tomorrow." Makarov said, looking at Lucy who still had not made any sound or movement. He turned and exited the room.

The mages was still there, staring at him, for any reassurance or answers.

"Go home. Lucy will be fine." Makarov ordered.

* * *

After Makarov had left, Lucy stared at the door, hoping that no one else would enter. She didn't want to talk to anyone else. She was too angry. Too disappointed.

She thought that Fairy Tail would mind their own business. So why? Why did they decide to save her? Lucy didn't want that. She wanted to leave…and see her mother again. The biggest disappointment ever…Fairy Tail should've minded their own damn business.

She looks at her arm which was covered neatly by bandages. Angrily, she ripped it off, only to see her cuts was almost healed. It didn't take her long to know that Wendy had done it.

Lucy begun to tremble with anger and tears threatened to escape. "All I wanted…was to leave. Why do this?" Lucy mumbled while looking around for anything sharp.

She wanted the feeling back. She wanted the familiar pain back. She wanted a blade on her skin. She wanted to see her blood. She needed it.

She wanted it.

Looking around, Lucy eyes a letter opener on a table not too far from where Lucy's bed was. With determination, Lucy took off the covers and sees that she was still in the clothes before she had cut herself. Guess they hadn't discovered her scars on her stomach yet.

Lucy attempted to stand on her two feet, only to immediately double down to her knees with a soft thud. She held her head in one hand, see doubles everywhere, her head spinning widely. Stubbornly, Lucy crawled on all fours and slowly made her way to the desk where the letter opener was and reached for it.

Having it in her hands, she examined it for a second only to be extremely disappointed. The letter opener was too dull to be able to cut her skin. Frustrated, she threw it across the room and opted to lay down on the cold floor and stare at the ceiling.

Couple minutes later, Lucy was becoming desperate now. She really wanted a blade. Something sharp. Something that could give her pain and blood.

Lucy sat up and scanned the room. Nothing. Nothing worth mentioning or nothing sharp enough for Lucy to cut herself with.

The kitchen.

Lucy knows that there are many knifes in the kitchen…and she gambled on finding one in there.

Blinking couple more times to get rid of the dizziness, Lucy struggled to her feet and used the wall as a guide to help her get to the door.

She opened it, and thankfully, no one was at the door, considering how annoying those Fairy Tail mages could be.

She stumbled and tripped along the way to the kitchen while seeing doubles.

Stumbling into the kitchen, and into the darkness, Lucy could see so many varieties of knifes that she could use to cut herself with.

There were big ones. Small ones. Medium ones. Lucy decided to situate herself with a small knife. Seems easier to cut herself with, as she had been using small knives to cut herself.

Lucy finds a small knife and sat on the floor, her back leaning against the counter. She eyes the knife, then at her wound that was almost healed.

Anger soon flared inside of her at the sight of it. She takes the knife and made a deep cut over her old wound. Relief and desperation clouded Lucy's judgment as she went to create another cut on her other wound below it.

Lucy's paused to stare at her wrist, blood spilling over, creating a pool of blood underneath her. She was elated with relief and a small smile formed on her lips.

It felt right. It felt…like it was meant to be. Her only salvation. Her only friend. She'd gladly accept death, and forget everything. Everything since her mother had died. She wanted to forget her so called father, and she wanted to forget Fairy Tail, as much as she loved them, she wanted to leave them.

Lucy became lightheaded and did not have enough strength to lift her arms. Lucy sat on the floor, in the pool of her own blood, leaning against a counter, and stared at the floor, stained by her blood.

The color of red begun to dim, the light begun to dim, her legs and arms begun to blur. Lucy closed her eyes slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

Still in a fit of rage, Erza forced herself to walk back to the guild to try and ask Lucy some more questions, only to see the mages walk out of the guild in silence and with an aura of uncertainty and desperation.

Makarov was the first to spot her and walked over to her. "Erza. What did Lucy say?" Makarov was concerned and worried for one of his children and wanted to know what happened between the two.

Erza looked away and whispered, "Lucy tried to kill herself."

The mages circled Erza for more answers, visibly concerned for the blonde. Questions was thrown at Erza, repeatedly, one of another.

"Why?"

"Is there a reason?"

"Why didn't she come to us?"

"I'll kill the bastard who tried to make her kill herself!"

Erza stayed still, letting questions overflow her brain, because those are the questions that had ringed in her mind after learning about Lucy's condition…Does she really know the full story?

Erza looked at each of the mages with sadness. Why would Lucy see them as an accomplice and not as a friend? _Lucy…why are you so…distant?_

"I'm going to stay with Lucy and make sure she's fine." Erza stated, not wanting any objective, and tried dodge the urge to tell them what Lucy had really said. She was sure they would bother Lucy until she answers. And she knows that Lucy needed some space, but couldn't and wouldn't leave her alone.

Makarov understood and nodded. He turned and left to go to his place without any other words.

"I'll come too!" Natsu declared, pumping his fist as he walked back to the guild.

"A sleepover at the guild seems nice." Gray said, striping his clothes as he walked back to the guild.

"Aye!" Happy agreed, following his dragon slayer friend.

"Hope you don't mind I come along as well." Wendy said, turning to Erza to see if it was okay. Erza smiled and nodded, making Wendy smile and running to catch up with Natsu and Gray.

Carla stayed behind and stared at Ezra with a concerned look.

Erza looked at her questioningly. "What is it?"

"Do you love her?"

Erza blinked. "Huh?"

"I had a vision. I heard those words come out of your mouth when you said it to Lucy. Do you love her?"

Erza stared at the cat. "Maybe it was in a different meaning?"

"Perhaps." Carla said before running to join her dragon slayer friend.

Erza sighed. Love? Hah! As if love would actually let her be happy. It had failed with Jellal and countless other men. Jellal was a criminal and refused to be in a relationship, and all of the men would cower from her. Erza had been caught thinking…that she was never meant to have love. So she never really tried to go after men, or to search for love again. So it was interesting to what Carla had just mentioned.

Erza didn't let her hopes go too high. She learned that the hard way. Love is not easy. Erza doesn't even need love. She didn't need it to be happy. All she needs is friends.

Friends.

Friends…Lucy…Why would she say those things? Erza was hurt when she had said those words. She had considered Lucy to be one of her closest friends. What happened? She'll fish out the answers from Lucy one way or another.

Erza joined the others and made their way back into the guild. Natsu then stopped dead in his tracks, fear clouding him instantly, trembling all over.

"Natsu?" Gray called out, already scared.

Erza was the first to move, already understanding what Natsu was thinking, and ran to the infirmary, only to find it empty. Lucy was not here. She was gone.

"Where's Lucy?!" Erza cried out, hoping that the others would start looking for her.

Wendy gasped, gaining the attention of the mages. Wendy followed the scent that she smelled. Before she knew it, she was in the kitchen, and the sight before her horrified her.

Lucy was leaning against a counter, the knife on the ground, already covered in blood. Her old wounds are recut more harshly and blood was still spilling out.

Erza gritted her teeth angrily as she moved to kneel next to Lucy and summon couple of towels and tried to stop the bleeding. She quickly turned to Wendy, "Help me stop the bleeding!"

Wendy snapped out of her horrified trance and quickly moved to kneel on the other side of Lucy and started healing Lucy's cuts, trying to close them and to stop the bleeding.

The silence horrified the mages beyond their comprehension. They were afraid. They were angry at themselves. They were shaken to the core. They felt…helpless. They felt helpless…allowing Lucy to feel suicidal. They hated themselves for this.

Another 30 minutes had passed, and Wendy stopped, dropping her arms tiredly. "Lucy-san should be fine. If… she loses any more…I doubt she'll even live."

"…Why did Lucy do this?" Gray asked to no one in particular.

No one responded.

Natsu turned to Erza, "What did Lucy say to you?"

"She…has a hard time accepting the term 'friend'." That was the best way she could say it. Erza doubted she could tell them that Lucy never saw them a friend. Only as an accomplice.

"Why?" Wendy asked.

"I tried asking her…but she wouldn't tell me." Erza murmured.

Gray sighed. "Well, we need to move Lucy and clean her off."

"I'll take her to my place. I can keep an eye on her." Erza offered. She turned to Wendy and Carla. "You two are welcome to come and help me care for Lucy."

Wendy happily obliged. Carla huffed and nodded.

"What about us!?" Gray and Natsu exclaimed in unison.

Erza glared at the two. "You two can clean up this mess, and the one in Lucy's place."

"But we want to watch and help Lucy too!"

"Too bad." Erza spat, picking Lucy up bridal style. She turned back to the boys. "You have a problem with it?"

The boys immediately clung onto each other. "Nope! We'll clean up the messes!"

Erza narrowed her eyes before turning to leave the guild with a bleeding Lucy in her arms, and Wendy and Carla walking next to her.

Erza felt like a failure. She failed as a friend. Her closest friend was suffering and she never knew it. Well, she saw the signs and she tried asking, but she should've pushed Lucy and really help her. Lucy almost died…twice.

"I'm sorry Lucy."

 **A/N: Hoped this wasn't too bad**

 **Please review and comment on your thoughts! I don't bite~**

 **Toodles!~~**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hullo! This is a slight rewrite~**

 **TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of abuse and the like. You've been warned**

 **Please enjoy?**

Erza had Wendy and Carla temporarily watch Lucy as she goes and find Mira. She needed to talk to someone, something about what she had discovered. She was afraid, she was hysterical, and she was hesitant.

Erza knocked on the door , quite loudly as she was desperate to talk to someone, and waited until the door opened, revealing sleepy silver-haired girl looking back at her with drowsy eyes.

"Erza? What do you want? I was sleeping." Mira whined, rubbing her eyes.

"It's about Lucy." Erza said, cutting right to the chase.

Mira was alert now as she looked back at Erza with concerned eyes. "What happened?"

Erza sighed. "Can I come in though?"

"Ok. But how's Lucy?' Mira asked, moving aside to let Erza in.

"Wendy's watching her right now. She'll be fine. But I…discovered something."

Mira nodded, anxious to hear more.

"But first, I'll start from the beginning."

Mira was silent, waiting for Erza to continue.

"After ya'll had left, the remaining mages that had stayed left for like…10 minutes, I think, and when we came back, Lucy was in the kitchen, and she had cut herself again."

Mira gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.

"She was covered in blood, so I took her to my place to clean her up. That's where the problem arose." Erza stared at the floor. "She was…riddled with scars. There was some fresh ones, mostly on her stomach."

"That's horrible…"

Erza sighed, looking back up at Mira. "I know for a fact that Lucy had a bad past. But she would never share it. She would always be quiet about it."

"Well, we only know that her father had kept his distance from her. And tried to force her to a marriage that she does not want."

Erza shook her head and crossed her arms as she leaned against a wall. "I feel like it does deeper than this. I feel like there's more to her relationship with her father."

"Care to elaborate?"

"It's just a feeling. When I spoke to her father couple nights ago, I was sensing some extreme guilt from him. But I couldn't really pin point on what. And I still don't know. I think Lucy trying to kill herself and her relationship with her father is connected."

"Did Lucy really try to kill herself?" Mira asked.

Erza sighed deeply and sunk down to the floor in defeat. "I don't know anymore, Mira. I asked her that and she responded with a question. She asked me why we saved her. She seemed so…confused."

"What else did she say?" Mira asked, kneeling next to Erza.

Erza shook her head in denial. "Lucy…she doesn't see any of us as her friend. That what made me so mad. I was confused when she had said that. I was hurt. And…I wondered why she had said that."

"Erza." Mira called out, forcing Erza to turn to Mira. "If Lucy really wanted to kill herself, then she would've done it already by stabbing herself in the stomach or slicing her throat."

"What are you trying to say?"

Mira stood back up, looking down on Erza with sadness. "I'm not really sure, Erza. But I don't think Lucy really wants to kill herself."

Erza stood to her feet to look at Mira with a questioningly look. "Lucy tried to do it, twice. How can you be so sure?"

Mira shook her head. "From what you had told me, that's what I believe."

* * *

The first thing Lucy expected was to see her mother again, not a boring ceiling. The first thing Lucy expected was to see whites, not dull colors. The first thing Lucy expected was to be happy, not depressed.

And Lucy knew why. She was too tired and weak to be really angry. But she was disappointed. She was disappointed to be even be here. She felt helpless and frustrated.

"Lucy."

It took Lucy a couple of seconds to register that someone was talking to her. Slowly, she turned to see Erza sitting on a chair with her arms crossed. And she looked angry.

Lucy stared at her with a deadpanned and emotionless look, not caring if the redhead was mad or not.

Erza took a deep breath, realizing that Lucy was now awake and had her attention. She had many questions. She wanted to ask them, but that'll wait. She needed to make sure Lucy was okay.

"Are you okay?" Erza finally spoke.

Lucy responded by looking away, opting to stare at the ceiling instead, remaining unvocal.

Gritting her teeth in frustration, she took a deep breath to calm her anger. "Lucy. Tell me. How are you feeling?" She repeated impatiently.

"I'm alive." Lucy responded halfheartedly.

Erza held herself back from spitting back a remark to that response. "Yes. Is there anything you would like to say?"

Lucy stared at the ceiling for a moment before turning to look back at Erza again. "I have nothing to say to you."

Erza sighed. "So you are going to say that again? Well, you going have to tell me. What was your relationship with your father?"

After Erza had asked that, she could see all colors disappearing from Lucy's face as she paled. She waited a few moment for Lucy to answer. But Lucy remained unvocal, turning back to stare at the ceiling.

"Lucy. You need to tell me, what was your relationship with your father?" Erza repeated.

"Our relationship is a relationship that should've never existed." Lucy finally responded with distaste and venom.

"What do you mean by that?" Inquired of Erza.

"There is nothing else to say."

Erza rubbed her temples with a deep sigh. "Lucy. You will tell me. What did he do to you?"

Lucy stared off into the distance, past the ceiling, into everlasting darkness as she was asked that question. The question that Lucy had been avoiding for years. The question that had plagued her mind.

Bits and pieces of a reluctant forgotten memory made it way to Lucy's mind. When it had all started. When Lucy's life turned upside down.

 _Her mother's grave._

 _Her father's angry face._

 _Blood._

 _Cuts and screams._

 _The agony._

 _The despair._

 _The betrayal and the forgotten._

Subconsciously, tears had threatened to spill out and streamed down her cheeks. Lucy begun to cry, covering her face with her uninjured arm, and cried an unwanted tears of anger and pain.

Lucy hated this. She didn't want this. She wanted this to end. She didn't want to feel this anymore.

Then she was pulled to a sitting position and a strong pair of arms wrapped around her tightly, but not too tight.

Erza was shocked to see Lucy crying all the sudden, proving that her conviction was correct. Lucy's father played a role in her suffering and she will get to the bottom of it.

"It's okay, Lucy." Erza whispered.

Lucy trembled and tried to wriggle out of Erza's embrace, but Erza was not letting go. "What do you know!?" Lucy yelled, trying to yank away.

"I don't know anything. But I need you to tell me." Erza said, trying to retain her hold on Lucy.

"Even if I did, there's nothing you could do! You can't…do…anything." Lucy trailed off, tears coming down harder. She couldn't speak, so she decided to show her anger by punching or hitting Erza.

The punches and hits were nothing to Erza, so she let it happen. She only focused on keeping her close. She wanted Lucy to know that she will not leave her side. That she is there for her. That Fairy Tail will be by her side.

Lucy's punches and hits receded from exhaustion and was becoming angrier.

Erza waited until Lucy had calm down to keep talking. "Lucy. Everything will be okay."

Lucy breathed in and out, in and out, to keep in her anger. Her frustration. Her obstruction anger. But she couldn't. She had enough.

Adrenaline coursed through her body with new-found energy and Lucy begun to hit Erza again, but more violently. "Nothing will be okay. You don't know anything. Let go of me!" Lucy screamed, trying to squirm out of Erza's grasp.

For 15 minutes, Erza had bored the countless, ongoing hits from Lucy, and the curses and cries from Lucy. Erza held Lucy tightly as she bored her anger and frustration. Soon, Lucy had found herself slipping into an unwilling unconsciousness.

Couple minutes later, Erza set Lucy back on the bed and covered her with the blanket. Erza sat back in her chair and studied the blonde for a moment, recollecting and recalling what had happened.

When I had asked about her father, Lucy had tensed up. Obviously, she hated him. But what did he do to Lucy? Erza wondered. She felt defeated and helpless. Worst case scenario, her father had abused her. That's the only conclusion Erza could come up with, putting the pieces together.

If Lucy won't talk, then Erza will have to take a more…drastic means to find out what had happened in her past.

Erza sat in the chair for couple of minutes until there was a knock on the door, and the door opened by itself. Erza remained unmoving as the person walked into the room.

"Erza-san? We're back. Carla and I got some food and some other stuff. Is everything okay?" Wendy asked, putting the bags on the ground.

Ignoring Wendy's question, Erza stood up, requiping into her usual armor and looked at Wendy with a serious expression.

"Can you watch Lucy for a while? I need to take care of some stuff."

"Huh? Of course. But, what do you need to do?"

Erza started walking out of the room. "I need to find somebody and get to the bottom of this." Erza opened and closed the door behind and made her way to her destination.

* * *

Erza sat in a train, with crosses arms and with an obstructive expression painted on her face, indicating that she was not happy. All of her convictions. All of her doubts. All of her unanswered questions. Her unspoken answers. Erza had been recollecting on the bits and pieces, putting together an answer that seemed so plausible, it should've never existed.

After couple of hours of rational thinking, the train arrived at the destination Erza had planned. Stepping out, she immediately made her way to meet the one person to gain at least some answers, and possibly a chance to break his jaw.

Standing outside of the guild, Love & Lucky. Forcing a stoic face and movement in an attempt to reel in her anger, Erza opened the door only to be greeted with an atmosphere of friendly workers and customers. Her eyes searched the building for a familiar man.

Spotting the intended man, who was talking to a customer with a smile, Erza immediately sauntered to the man and the customer with a scowl. She pushed the customer away gently and gain the attention of the man she wanted to see.

"Erza? What are doing here?"

Erza turned to the father of Lucy with an expression of anger. "I need to talk to you privately. And it's urgent."

"Urgent? I'm working."

Erza grabbed Jude's shirt and dragged him out of the guild, ignoring the worried looks from the others, and ignored the complaints from Jude.

Coming to a secluded place, Erza let go, letting Jude fall ungracefully to the ground. Stumbling back to his feet, he turned to Erza with annoyance.

"Care to explain why you did that?"

"And can you care to explain what you did to your own daughter?" Erza retorted.

Jude was obviously taken aback by the randomness of the question, but soon serious. "She never told you?"

Erza remained silent, her own rage slowly boiling, her own convictions and oppression of her unspoken answers fueling her anger as she stared at the man before her.

Jude sighed. "Where do I begin?"

"How about when it all started?" Erza scowled.

"Okay. But what had brought this on? Why do you want to know, if Lucy isn't going to tell you?"

"I found her half-dead after cutting herself."

Jude was surprised and was left with a mouth wide open. "Lucy would never do that…"

A strong armored punch was connected with Jude's stomach, causing him to double over onto the ground.

"No, Lucy would never do that. Unless you had done something. Now, tell me, what did you do to her?" Erza demanded.

Jude clutched his stomach as he dry heaved, and recollected his breath..

After a few moments of silent, Jude finally spoke up. "It all happened when my wife passed away. Lucy's mother. I loved her. I loved my wife so much, even more than my own daughter. But I still cared for her. I had loved Lucy, and I still do. But when my wife passed away, I was so distraught and angry. Lucy had had the last moment with her mother."

"So this was jealousy?" Erza interrupted, already having a sword in her hand.

"Perhaps. I wasn't really…stable. I admit it, I was not myself. I was drunk. I would get myself drunk to wash away the pain. To try and forget it all. But every time I see Lucy, I get so angry."

"So you abused her?" Erza gripped her sword tightly.

"…Yes. It was mistake that I regret to this day. I knew it was wrong when I had started it. But I was so angry. I started to hit her, kick her, punch her. At one point in time, I learned to love it, the screams and the agony. I know it was wrong. And I hate myself for that."

Erza brought a strong kick to Jude's stomach, sending him across the ground couple meters out. She was resisting the urge to stab him in the heart. She was resisting the urge to make him suffer as he had done to his own daughter.

Dryly heaving as Jude got to his knees, he continued to look down on the ground.

"Anything else you had done?"

Jude begun to tremble under the gaze of the murderous looks of a Fairy Tail mage. "I had thrown insults at her, insults that she was worthless and made her question so many things. At the end of the day, I would regret what I had said. But I continued to do it."

"And this is all because you had lost your wife?"

"…Yes."

"Lucy suffered because her damned father abused her, because he had lost his wife? What kind of nonsense is that?" Erza gritted her teeth, wanting so badly to cut this man to pieces.

"After Lucy had ran away, I realized what I had done. I had hired a guild, Phantom to bring her back to apologize. But I failed, and it seems that Lucy believed that I wanted to torture her some more. I wanted to apologize…even now, I wanted to apologize to her. But Lucy would never let me."

"If I had recall correctly, Lucy was gone for 1 year before you had hired Phantom to bring her back."

"After everything I had done, I decided to give her some space, until I deemed it necessary that Lucy was fine."

'Why didn't you come yourself? That would've been more effective." Erza pointed out.

"I was a busy man. I couldn't afford it. So I relied on a guild to bring her back."

"Ok, I heard enough." Erza said, not wanting to hear anymore. "I would bring you back and apologize to Lucy, but I doubt she would want to see you, as she is too broken because of you." Erza grabbed Jude's shirt and begun to drag him again.

"Where are you taking me?"

"I'm going to arrest you. A jail is the best place for you." Erza said with venom.

Jude understood and allowed it to happen.

Jude was handed over to the police and was jailed for 25 years for abusive actions. Jude himself revealed everything, so it was done quickly and his sentence was quickly applied.

Before Jude was being taken away, he turned to Erza, "Please take care of her. And tell her that I love her."

"Fairy Tail will be Lucy's new family. She will be safe." Erza said, crossing her arms.

Jude smiled, ever so slightly with guilt. "I'm glad to hear that. Please heal Lucy for me."

"I will not do it for you." Erza spat.

Before Jude could say anything else, the police took him away, confining him for 25 years. Erza almost wished that he would be confined for life.

With a deep breath, Erza began to walk back to Magnolia.

 **A/N: Hoped it wasn't too OOC on Erza's part, or the other characters in this chapter**

 **Please review and comment on your thoughts! I don't bite~**

 **Toodles!~~**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hullo! This is a slight rewrite***

 **Please enjoy?**

With each apprehensive steps, and with each obstructive minutes of silence, Erza stood outside of her own apartment thinking how much she had failed to stimulate a plan to help Lucy after learning what had happened.

All the sudden, the door opened, revealing Wendy through the door.

"Erza-san? Carla told me that you were outside."

Erza sighed at those words. "I was just thinking…How's Lucy?" The redhead asked as she walked into her apartment and sauntered quietly toward to where Lucy laid.

"Still sleeping. But may ask where you had gone?" Wendy asked as she closed the door and followed Erza into the room.

"Just some private matters with Lucy's relative." Erza responded as she walked into the room where Carla was sitting in a chair watching over the sleeping blonde.

"Relative?" Wendy perked up.

Erza took one glance at the blonde before picking up Carla with careful grip and gave her to Wendy. "You two may go back to you room. I'll take care of the rest."

"Huh? But, I still want to-"

Erza stopped Wendy by placing a hand on her shoulder. "Wendy, I need to talk to Lucy privately about some things that I had learned. It would be in our best interest if there were less audience. You did plenty already, Wendy. You already saved Lucy twice. So take a long break and rest."

Wendy pouted for a minute and nodded, letting Erza follow her out with much reluctance. Wendy was concerned for Lucy, and didn't want to leave her alone. But she trusted Erza, she trusted the judgment of the Knight.

After closing the door and locking it for privacy just in case, Erza turned back and entered the room, and discerned that Lucy was still asleep. With a deep sigh, and declaring that she should let the blonde have her rest, the redhead sauntered to the kitchen to grab some strawberry cake to relieve her soon-to-be hungry stomach.

After grabbing the strawberry cake and a fork, Erza went back to the room, expecting to see Lucy still asleep, but Lucy was wide awake again, sitting up with wide eyes, and looking directly ahead.

Erza stood still and studied the blonde who had not yet moved an inch.

After a few more minutes, Erza placed the strawberry cake on the stand next to the bed and placed her hand on Lucy's shoulder to get her attention. "Lucy?"

Lucy blinked couple of times before her eyes landed on Erza's.

"You okay?" Erza inquired, already knowing the frightened state of the blonde. But for now, she'll play ignorance until she deemed it necessary to probe her for questions and comfort her for the things she had learned from her father.

"Where am I?" Lucy spoke up after a minute of scanning the room.

"My place. I needed to clean you up. You were completely covered in blood."

Lucy paled for a second, looking down, realizing that Erza had not only cleaned her, but put her in different clothes as well. She tried to hide her panic and looked at Erza. She knew that Erza had seen them, but she was confused too. Erza seemed indifferent, other than that fact that Lucy had cut herself again.

Erza sat in the chair and stared at the blonde. "You feeling okay?

Lucy glared back for a moment before looking down at her clenched fists wrapping around the blanket.

Erza sensed the blonde's hesitation and decided to talk about something else, deliberately avoiding the topic of her father and her past.

"Are you hungry?" Erza asked as she reached for her strawberry cake handing it to Lucy.

Lucy looked at the cake, then at Erza with a deadpanned look. "I'm not hungry."

"You haven't eaten for almost two days. You need to eat." Erza frowned, placing the plate of strawberry that she planned on eating on the bed in front of Lucy. Lucy needed it more than her, Erza could always buy some more cakes for herself.

Lucy pouted slightly and stared at the cake before her before grabbing for the fork.

Within a pang of thoughts, Lucy was almost tempted to use the fork to inflict more pain on herself. But she stopped herself, mostly because Erza was staring at her and may yell at her for such behaviors. In addition, Lucy was, truthfully, really hungry, so she gave in and slowly at the cake bites by bites.

Erza sat in her chair, watching Lucy eat her cake with crossed arms. She paid close attention to where the fork was going, not wanting another 'accident' or another attempt in suicide. She looked to the side to check the time. Seeing that it was early in the morning, Erza stood up again and took the empty plate from Lucy after she had finished it and placed it on the stand.

"Lucy. You lost a lot of blood. So you will have to stay bedridden for a little while and you need to eat a lot more food to help you regain some of the blood that you had lost." Erza explained as she stared at the blonde to study her reaction.

"Can I at least go back to my apartment?" Lucy asked, not even looking at the redhead.

"If the boys did exactly as I had asked and cleaned up your apartment, then there would be a possibility of you going back. But not alone. Someone needs to be with you."

Lucy huffed slightly.

"As things stand, you will not be going anywhere because of your condition."

"My condition? What do you think my condition is?" Lucy taunted angrily.

Erza shook her head a little before crossing her arms, staring down on the figure below her. "Trust issues."

"Trust?" Lucy deadpanned questioningly.

"Why won't you tell us about yourself? Sure, we all known that you came from a rich family and that you ran away. We never asked for details. We never do. But…I think your past is affecting you greatly"

Lucy stared at the redhead, shaken up from the fear of having to be found out…No…that's not right. It was the fear of sharing it. Lucy never wanted to share them. It would bring too much…pain and agony that she had gone through. Even just thinking about it is too much for her.

After a few minutes of silence between Lucy and Erza, with Lucy merely staring at the towering mage, and the redhead looking down on the blonde, Erza let out a deep sigh and sat down in her chair behind her.

"Whatever the case, whatever happened, it should not happen again." Erza crossed her arms.

Lucy looked away in annoyance. Why won't Erza leave her alone? Lucy wanted the isolation and peace. But she couldn't really have that isolation if there's another person the room, right?

"In a few more hours, the guild members will want to know your conditions. But…I can promise you that I can keep them away if you tell me what's wrong." Erza already knows it all, but what she does not know is Lucy's perspective and her own experience.

"What made you think that my past is effecting me?" Lucy dared to say it.

Erza narrowed her eyes at Lucy. "Cutting yourself has to be from a past. Lucy, I do not know how long this had gone. Nor do I know what each cut on your stomach means. You don't need to tell me why, but I need you to tell me what happened that led you to do this."

Lucy opted to stay mute, surprised and clearly afraid that Erza had indeed discovered her scars on her stomach.

Before Erza could say anything else to the stubborn blonde, a knock was registered. With a silent growl, Erza stood up and walked to the front and slowly opened the door, revealing a familiar trusting figure.

"Mira. What brings you here?" Erza inquired, only cracking the door halfway.

Mira only smiled. "I came to check up on you guys. How's Lucy?"

"She won't talk." Erza frowned. For a slit second, she looked over her shoulder before walking out of the apartment and closing. She then turned to Mira with concern in her eyes.

"Mira. I need you to be serious. How do we deal with a broken girl that will not talk?"

Mira cocked her head to the side ever so slightly with concern and worry. "Is it that bad?"

"Just answer the question!" Erza hissed quietly.

"Even if she won't talk, if you say that she's broken, then don't leave her side. Make her believe that we actually care for her. And that we are friends, and will always will be. Lucy needs to know that."

Erza sighed. "But what if that doesn't change anything?"

"She'll come around. For now, I strongly believe that Lucy needs someone to care for her."

Erza clenched and unclenched her fists, reconsidering Mira's words. "Alright…Just go and tell Master that I will be with Lucy, and that I will take care of her until I deem it necessary for her to come back to the guild. I'll let you know when we are coming back. I don't want the guild to be crowded."

Mira nodded in understanding. "Of course. Tell Lucy I said 'hi'."

Erza smiled and watched as Mira walked away, assumingly to the guild. She quickly entered her apartment again and sauntered back to where Lucy should be. Only to find her on the ground, unmoving.

Erza dashed to her side and moved the blonde, checking for any injury, only to find none, expect for the scars and cuts that were already there.

"Lucy? Wake up." Erza gently shook her.

"…" Lucy's eyes remained close, her voice remained unheard, and her movements remained unseen.

"Lucy." Erza placed a gentle finger against Lucy's neck to check for a pulse.

Thankfully, there was a pulse loud and clear. With a deep sigh of relief, Erza scooped the blonde into her arms and gently placed her back into the bed.

Erza sat in her chair again for the nth time and took a deep sigh.

 _Don't leave her side. Make her believe that we care, that we're friends, always there for_ _her._

Erza honestly was not was not good in this type of situation. And she was especially nervous to how Lucy would react if she found out that she had meddled in her family affair. She wondered if it was justified for her to do it, to force some answers from the man and arresting him on the spot. Should Lucy had the say on what to do with him?

It was obvious, it was obvious to all ages of minds that surrounded the life of the blonde. Lucy was broken. She struggled and faced adversity of what's real and what to believe in. What made Erza disappointed was that Lucy never went for help, not in the slightest. Even Levy, her best friend.

A groan was then heard as a rustle was registered and Lucy begun to stir.

Erza kept a watchful eye on the blonde as she rose to a sitting position.

"You okay? Erza inquired, seeing a slightly painful expression in Lucy's face.

Lucy cradled her temple with one hand. "I was trying to go to the bathroom…that's all I remember…"

"…You tried to..." Erza sighed, facepalming in the process, glad to know that it was nothing major, like a sudden interest in making another cut or something. "Do you still need to go?"

Lucy only nodded.

Erza rose to her full height and scooped Lucy in her arms and sauntered to the bathroom.

"That's far enough. I want my privacy when I go." Lucy blushed slightly when the door was within sights and tried to have Erza put her down.

"No." Erza deadpanned as she continued to walk into the bathroom, setting her on the edge of the bathtub.

"I can do it myself. Please leave!" Lucy pleaded.

"No. Last time we left you alone, even for 10 minutes, you had another deep cut. I will not risk it." Erza said as she went to remove Lucy's skirt.

*Smack*

A hard, yet weak hand was met with Erza's firm cheek, causing the redhead to freeze her administrations and stare at an angry blonde.

"Do you honestly think I would try to take my life while going to the bathroom? I really need to go, so please get out."

Erza stared at the blonde for a moment before sighing. "Fine. But give me a minute." Erza said as she started to look around. Looking for specific things.

For anything sharp and harmful.

After collecting the aforementioned sharp objects, Erza turned to Lucy, "Call me when you are done."

"…Just go." Lucy whined.

Erza reluctantly complied and exited the bathroom, closing the door, but not all the way. She placed the sharp objects in a drawer of a nearby stand and stood by the bathroom door, waiting for Lucy to call out.

A sound of a toilet flushing was soon heard, tensing the redhead.

A stream of water in a sink was faintly heard.

Then a soft thud was heard, alerting the older woman. Erza immediately dashed into the bathroom, finding that Lucy was now on the bathroom floor, leaning against the bathtub. Erza quickly turned off the water and kneeled in front of the blonde.

"Lucy?"

"Everything is…so dizzy." Lucy murmured with her eyes shut tightly.

Erza sighed. "You need more food." She scooped Lucy into her arms and carefully walked back to the bed and gently placed her back on the bed.

"Don't move." Erza said in her sternest voice.

Lucy groaned and rolled to one side, facing away from the redhead.

Erza sighed and dashed to the kitchen, looking for good candidates that would help Lucy regain her lost blood.

Nuts, peanuts, banana, Gatorade, milk…

Finding any remaining food of the aforementioned goods that the woman may have, and collecting them into a pile. Erza placed them in a tray and walked back where Lucy should be.

Seeing that Lucy had not moved a muscle, Erza placed the tray on the stand and shook the blonde a little.

"Lucy? You need to wake up."

An annoyed grunt was heard as Lucy got up again and glared at Erza. "What do you want?"

Erza grabbed the tray and placed it in Lucy's lap. "You will eat these. No objections. No excuse."

Lucy glared at the food in her lap, then at Erza. "I'm not hungry."

"Too bad. Eat it."

Before Lucy could come up with a retort, a loud crash was heard at the front door, followed by a familiar shout.

"LUUUCCYY!"

Before Erza could erupt in a fit of rage for her property being raided and destroyed, Natsu came running in with a grin, followed by a familiar blue cat and an annoyed shirtless mage.

"Lucy! We came to see you!" Natsu grinned, walking closer to the blonde sitting in the bed.

"Aye!" Happy cheered.

"This was Natsu's idea." Gray said with a fearful look as he looked at an angry redhead, trying to get his way around the redhead.

"Lucy! When do you think we can go a on job?" Natsu grinned, stopping at the edge of the bed, towering the blonde.

"Aye!" Happy jumped onto the bed and placed a fish with the rest of the goodies that Lucy was supposed to eat.

Erza then brought a hard armored fist to Natsu's and Happy's stomach, effectively knocking them out. She then turned to Gray with rage in her eyes.

Gray started to sweat bullets as he raised his hand defensively. "Like I said, this wasn't my idea. Natsu and I were talking about Lucy and it led to trying to make her feel better. He thought that a job would make Lucy feel better. I tried to stop him and…" He trailed of with tone of fear from the looks he was given by a very angry knight

Erza slowly walked toward Gray. "You will take both Natsu and Happy and get out of my apartment. And tell Natsu that he will pay for the damage he had cause."

Gray nodded feverishly as he ran to grab Natsu and Happy. Before leaving, he turned Lucy with a smile. "Get better soon."

With that, Gray took off, dragging the unconscious meats of ignorance with him.

After a few moments of silence, Erza groaned with discontent as she continued to stare at the damage done. "That idiot!"

She turned to face Lucy.

Lucy stared downward at the pile of foods and a fish that Happy brought for her. She remained mute and unemotional as she stood still and unmoving.

"Lucy?" Erza called out with a soft tone as she made her way toward the blonde

"I'm still not hungry." Lucy repeated, frowning at the fish that had touched the snacks.

A deep sigh was heard from the redhead. Erza reached down and grabbed a snack an opened it. She then grabbed Lucy's chin with gentle care and hovered the snack in front of Lucy's mouth.

"You will eat, or you will feel dizzy. Now, eat." Erza sternly spoke, hovering the snack close to the lips of the blonde.

* * *

It was now midday, and Erza sat in her chair, watching the sleeping figure of the troubled mind. The beauty as she slept, the silence as she slept, the lack of apprehension as she slept, as if it was all a dream.

But it's the reality, and Erza still needed to find a way to help the blonde.

"Erza?"

Erza turned her heard to the front of the broken door, where Mira, Wendy, and Carla stood hesitantly. She stood and walked over to them.

"Is there anything you need?" Erza asked.

"I heard from Gray. Natsu's grand entrance." Mira snickered a little.

"Is Lucy-san okay?" Wendy asked with a concern note in her voice.

"She'll hanging in there. I had to force her to eat. Right now, she's sleeping."

"Forced?" Carla raised an eyebrow.

"Learned anything new about her past?" Mira asked, trying to slip into the apartment.

Alert, Erza stood in front of her apartment, not keen on having any more visitors in her apartment. "Kind of. But it'll have to wait. I need to speak to Lucy about it first."

"Is there anything we can to help?" Wendy asked.

"Some snacks that would help boost Lucy's blood flow would be nice. I'm quite low on food now. And I need one of ya'll to keep Natsu tied to a pole so he won't destroy my door again."

"Tie Natsu to a pole and tease him, get food for Lucy, and peace. Got it. Wendy and I will get the things you need." Mira smiled, almost making Erza afraid of what the white-haired mage was thinking.

Once Mira, Wendy, and Carla left, Erza turned and walked back into her apartment, back to keep a close tabs on the blonde.

Now, all she needed to do was to formulate a plan to have Lucy spill everything and start trusting her and the others.

 **A/N: OOC? Is it good? Bad? Let me know~**

 **Please review and comment on your thoughts! I don't bite~**

 **Toodles!~~**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Been awhile since** **I** **had depression** **of** **sorts.** **I'm** **really upset...so** **I** **sorta wrote this** **chapter** **...it probably sucks...** **like** **my life...my everything about me...*sighs*...idk anymore...**

 **...enjoy?...**

 **And** **there's** **also** **a trigger warning** **of** **suicide** **attempt** **...again. so you've been warned.**

Lucy felt miserble. She felt angry and miserable at the same time and she hated it. Erza had not left her side, and she was growing more annoyed by her persistence.

From the insights of her visions, Lucy had not been able to find an opportunity to escape from Erza, or seek redemption from a sharp blade. And it infuriated her to no end. And she couldn't find a reason for why she would be keeping an eye out on her. Pity? Remorse? What was it? Lucy couldn't figure it out.

As of this moment, Lucy laid on her side, facing the wall and she kept envisioning sharp blades cutting into her skin, and she kept envisioning the color of red seeping through her skin, past the penetration. And she was desperate. Desperate to see and feel the pain once more.

Every second or two, Lucy would get this urge of looking around the room to find that sharp blade. But she quickly stopped when she realized and knew that she was being watched. Why was Erza watching her so closely? And did she even bother? Lucy mourned over what kind of answers those questions could reveal, and it drove Lucy crazy.

With her gaze fixed on the wall in front of her, Lucy remained motionless and still. And did not dare to move a muscle. She didn't want to deal with the redhead anytime soon, and she didn't want to deal with her antics of why?

Erza, on the other hand, remained still and rigid on a chair, eyes fixed on a particular figure resting on her bed. Worry and strict-like gaze studied the blonde as she tried to find a way to talk to Lucy about the past without making it any worse than it was now. As worried as she was, she needed to tell Lucy and have her tell her what had happened in the past. Yet, she found it hard to tell her as days had quickly gone by.

...

When Lucy had reopened her eyes, she realized that she had fallen asleep. So she sat up slowly and quietly and and scanned her surroundings. She noted how it was dark in the room, and saw Erza leaning against her chair with her eyes closed. Lucy stared at the redhead for couple of minutes before realizing that she was alseep. The blonde studied the redhead for a quick moment before removing the comforters and placed her foot on the floor. What better time to do what she had wanting to do ever since Erza decided to be like a strict nagging supervisor?

Lucy glanced at Erza as she stood up to her feet, using the stand to balance herself. She still felt dizzy, and Erza instructed her to not go anywhere without her, according to a doctor that had recently visited. But Lucy planned on not following the doctors orders, and she planned on doing the exact opposite.

Taking a step foward, Lucy moved her hands to the wall and started to walk away from the bed, and toward the kitchen that had been made off limits but Erza. Once stepping into the kitchen, Lucy quickly scanned where a sharp blade would be located. She stumbled to a drawer and opened it as quietly as she could.

Nothing.

She moved on to the next drawer.

Nothing.

She moved yet to another drawer.

Nothing

Growing frustrated, pictures of a sharp silver knife made Lucy even more desperate. She needed it. She wanted it.

Taking a deep, quiet breath, Lucy started her search again and tried to find them again, but in cabinets.

After opening three cabinets, she growled when she couldn't find them in either of the cabinets.

She looked down at the floor and tried to think.

...Lucy knows that this is Erza's place...

And idea just sprang in her mind. If this was Erza's place, then there should be swords that she could use. But only one question remained...where could they be?

Lucy walked out of the kitchen and looked around the living room. A frown made it was to her face as she couldn't find one.

She turned back to see Erza still sleeping, leaning against her chair. Lucy silently gulped as she walked into another room. She observed it to be a guest room, but she inwardly smirked as she saw couple of armors and swords on display on the far end of the wall.

Lucy silently closed the door and tried to lock it, but saw that it didn't have a lock. She frowned at that, but moved toward the collection of armors and swords nonetheless. Once she got close, she eyed a particular sword that hung magnificently next to an set of armor. It was an armor she hadn't seen before, but it looked so pretty and sturdy.

Lucy reached out toward the sword and grabbed the hilt and lifted it off of its place. Once she removed the sword, she almost dropped it to the ground, not expecting the heavy weight of the small sword. Because it was heavy.

But Lucy didn't mind as she sat on the ground, placing the sword on her lap. She glanced at her bandaged wrists and unwrapped it. Scabs and a slightly healed skin was all Lucy could see, and she intends on changing it again.

Lucy grabbed the sword and placed the sharp edge against her damaged skin. In a split second, she roughly cut into her skin as hard as she could, and hoped that her pain tolerance was high, because she wanted to make another one.

Blood immediately spills out, covering Lucy's arm in red. They dripped onto Lucy's thighs and to the floor, and they stained the sword all the while. But the blonde didn't care at all, and she watched as they continued to spread.

Lucy removed the sharp edge that was still penetrated in her skin, and moved the sharp edge next to the oozing wound and planned on making another deep cut.

But, before Lucy could push down on the sharp edge, she was harshly pushed bakwards, falling into her back, and the sword was sent flying in the other direction.

When Lucy turned to see who had pushed her, she saw Erza glaring at her. She silently glared at the redhead, and waiting for anything to happen. Because she can see the anger in Erza's eyes.

...

Erza had only closed her eyes to rest after pulling an all nighter. And then the next thing she knew when she had reopened her eyes, Lucy was gone.

She immediately sprang to her feet and looked around, trying to find the blonde. She ran into the kitchen and saw opened cabinets and drawers and knew what Lucy was trying to do. She ran out of the kitchen, and checked the bathroom, only to find it empty. She checked all of the rooms and found no traces of the blonde.

But there was one room that Erza did not check. she walked up to the door and slowly opened the door and walked into the room. She suddenly stopped in her tracks as she she's Lucy with a sword, and she could see puddles of blood beneath Lucy.

In a swift motion, Erza ran forward and used one hand to push Lucy backwards and used her other hand to knock to sword out of reach. Lucy fell and landed on her back, and a noise of clanking sounds could be heard when the sword and clashed against one of Erza's many armors.

Erza stood still, towering over the blonde with an angry glare.

"Lucy. What. Is. The. Meaning. Of. This?" Erza intoned at the blonde.

Lucy didn't answer, and she wasn't planning on talking to Erza again. And Erza knew it. But Erza will not have it.

Erza gritted her teeth when she got no response, so instead she knelt down and summoned a towel and went to grab Lucy's bleeding arm. But Lucy whipped her arm out of Erza's reach.

"Stay away!" Lucy shouted as she tried to crawl away.

But Erza was not having it as she closed the distance, grabbing for Lucy's arm once again.

But Lucy used her other arms and tried to get keep Erza away from her. But Erza grabbed her good arm and held it firmly without hurting the blonde. She tugged the blonde toward her and grabbed the other arm when it was within reach.

Lucy struggled against the grip of the redhead as Erza closed in on her. Erza forced Lucy to lay on her back and straddled the blonde.

"Hey! Get off me!" Lucy cried as she struggled, desperately to get older girl off of her.

Erza ignored her grabbed Lucy's bleeding arm and the towel that she had summoned and wrapped it around the wound, causing the blonde to writhe in pain.

"Let me go!" Lucy yelled, trying to kick Erza, but to no avail, and Erza had a pretty good grip.

"You need to get it looked at...again" Erza frowned at the growing spots of red on the towel wrapped around Lucy's wound.

"I don't care! Get the hell off of me!"

"No. This needs to be resolved." Erza frowns as she tried to think of a way to calm the blonde.

"No it doesn't! Nothing needs to be resolved! Now get the fuck off of me!" Lucy screamed as she glared at Erza, trying to push her off.

There was a moment of pain and hurt in Erza's eyes, but it disappeared quickly as the redhead tugs Lucy to a sitting position, still straddling the blonde. The blonde would had tried to crawl away from the position, but Erza already had her arms around the blonde, hugging her gently and firmly.

"Let go of me!" Lucy whined, trying to push Erza off.

"I don't like it when you hurt yourself like this." Erza murmured as she tightened her grip on the blonde.

"Why should you care!? Care about someone else! I don't need your pity! Get the hell off of me!"

Erza silently sighs and reluctantly lets go of the blonde, but kept a solid grip on her uninjured arm. "Because you're my friend. And I worry about my friends."

Lucy silently growled at the redhead and tried to whip her arm away, but couldn't because Erza had a strong grip on her. "Friends? Then if we weren't friends, then you wouldn't worry?"

Erza gave her a look of slight anger and hurt. "Don't say that, Lucy."

"I can say whatever I want!"

Erza frowns and gets up, and carried Lucy over her shoulders.

"Let me down!" Lucy cried, hitting Erza's back.

Erza ignored her and walked back into the room that Lucy was using and placed the blonde on the bed. Lucy moved away from the redhead in annoyance and laid down, facing the wall.

"I'm going to call Wendy to heal that for you. So just wait." Erza said as she picked up a lacrima nearby.

Lucy wanted to tell Erza to not do it. But she knew that the redhead will not listen and will do it against her will. So she kept quiet and gave off a murderous aura that'd directed toward the the redhead.

Erza placed the lacrima down and sighed after making the call. Wendy will be arriving very shortly. And she was growing more concerned for Lucy as her behavior had grown more violent and cold. She was unsure of what to do with this behavior, and she wanted to fix that.

And perhaps telling Lucy about her father may have to wait. Erza contemplated on what methods should be used when telling Lucy when the time was right. But when would the time be right? That's the question Erza don't have the answer to.

 **A/N: Hmm...make Lucy suffer more? Or have it resolved sooner?**

 **Well, hoped** **you** **liked this. Please review and comment on your thoughts! I** **don't** **bite~**

 **Toodles!~~**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello, sorry for the late update for this chapter, I had already completed this chapter months ago...and posted it in a different website and I had originally tried to post it on herec but some stuff happened and it distracted me and I completely forgotten about this. I am so sorry. And thank you for your patience ^.^;**

 **Please enjoy?**

It had been couple days since Erza had found Lucy feeling suicidal when she had tried cutting herself again with a sword. It had been couple days since Lucy refused to talk to Erza, except when Erza was being forceful about eating and drinking. Erza hated yelling and forcing her friends to do something, and Lucy was no excpetion.

Erza had asked Wendy and Carla to keep an eye out on her, and not to let her do anything reckless. She needed to research on how to help her. She needed a professional that could give her a helpful tips to help her blonde friend.

Right now, Erza found herself in a bookstore and tried to look for a specific book that could help her in her search of helping the blonde.

She continued to look through the books and tried to find the perfect book

"Excuse me, Ma'am, do you need any help?"

Erza turned to see a young man in glasses, and a white shirt with a tan pants. "Yes, do you know where I can find books on how to deal with people who are feeling suicidal?"

The man stopped and tried to think for a moment. "I'm afraid we do not house those particular books in this store. But I can certainly give the number to call this professional doctor that excels in that area. She helped me quite a bit when my girlfriend was suicidal."

Erza smiled at the man. "That would be great."

The man smiled back. "Well, if you would follow me, I can provide you the number." He turned and started to walk through the shelves of books, and toward the front desk. Erza dutifully followed the man and waited for the man to give the number that she could call.

A minute later, the man handed Erza a piece of paper with a name and bunch of numbers. "Here you go, Ma'am. She should be able to help with any problems that you may have with your friend."

Erza took the paper and reads it quickly before smiling at the man. "Thank you. I appreciate it." She would hug the man, but he was on the other side of the table, so a simple thanks should suffice to show her gratitude.

The man smiles back. "Hope your friend recovers."

Erza smiles slightly and walked put of the bookstore and looked at the piece of paper again.

Daphne Hilltop, (666) 777 - 4444

Erza requipped a phone and dialed in the number while walking toward the library.

After couple of rings, the person picked up, followed by a formal greeting. "Hello, this is Daphne Hilltop. How may I help you?"

Erza hesitated for a moment before speaking. "Hello, I was hoping you could give me couple of tips on helping my friend, who is a bit suicidal."

"I must ask you what you mean by 'a bit'? Either your friend is self harming or is suicidal. Which is the problem?"

Erza hesitated for a moment. "I believe it's suicidal."

There was some slight noises in the background as Erza waited for Daphne to respond. "Okay, I advise you to take notes."

Erza was already in front of the library and walked in, and grabbed some scrap paper and pen and walked to a table. "Alright. What do I do?"

"The first thing that you need to do is don't let them our of sight. The second thing that you need to do is make sure that there isn't any dangerous objects that could be used to for suicide. The third thing is making sure that your friend gets the attention that they need attention, meaning don't leave them alone. The forth thing that you need to do is talk to them And-"

"You want me talk to her?" Erza interrupted, questionable on what that exactly meant.

"Yes. Talk to her. Have her explain on why she wants to attempt suicide. It is important on why she would want to go down the path of suicide. Then once you know what's going on, you can try and fix what is broken. Just know that this will take a while for your friend to recover and such."

Erza frowns and wrote down everything that Daphne had said.

"But she ignores me, try to hit me and keep me away what should I do about that?" Erza asked.

"Be gentle. Make it clear that you care and that you're trying to help." Daphne responded.

"Gentle? How do I be gentle?" Erza frowned some more as she kept taking notes.

Daphne was silent for a moment before responding. "Don't force anything, or be rough."

Erza frowned some more before nodding as she jotted it down on the piece of paper. "How should I approach her about her past then?"

"It really depends on what kind of situations your friend had been involved in. Do you know what she had gone through?"

"Yes." Erza answered immediately.

"I want you to tell me what happened."

Erza hesitated for a minute or two and though on how she should tell her. After couple more minutes, she spoke up again. "Her mother died, and her father soon abused her. Terribly."

"Where did you hear this from?"

Erza silently gulped. "I approached her father and beat it out of him." While it wasn't a complete lie, she wanted to beat him up for real.

A soft sigh was heard on the other line. "Does your friend know about this?"

"No. I was planning on telling her this. But yesterday, she cut herself again..."

"You need to get her attention, be gentle, tell her that you're there for her, and that you will love her unconditionally as a friend and help her with anything that she would need." Daphne said over the line.

Erza nodded and writes them down on her piece of paper. "Alright. What do I do afterwards?"

"Don't leave. Don't ever trust what a suicidal person says. They may try to get you to trust them and once you leave, they would try to kill themselves again. I had many patients like those. So I advise you to stay close and such."

Erza nodded. "Alright. I think I have every thing down."

"I want you to call me again if anything else arises. And if it is absolutely necessary, I can meet your friend personally and help her head on." Daphne offered.

"Alright. I'll call you back when something happens." Erza voiced with determination as she eyed through her notes.

"Alright. Good luck with your friend."

"Thank you." Erza smiled a little before hanging up and requipped her phone back to her dimension. She looked back her her notes that she had taken and read through it couple of times, committing it to memory.

All she needed was to be gentle, not rough, and soothe her, letting Lucy know she will be there for her. Not the type of method she would normally use, but she will do anything to help Lucy. So she had no qualms on trying something new.

Erza grabbed the paper and pocketed it and walked out of the library and went back to her place, hoping that Wendy and Carla is keeping Lucy safe. She quickly walked through the streets, and past through numerous houses, Lucy's included, and walked back into Fairy Hills.

Opening the door to her room, Carla was the first to greet her with a scowl. "Where you been?"

"I've been taking care of something. And researching something to help Lucy." Erza replied as she closed to door.

Carla sighed before walking closer to the redhead knight. "Okay, but I need to tell you something."

Erza turned to the cat with a questioning look. "What is it?"

"Something bad will happen with Lucy. I'm not entirely sure on what degree of danger, and what will happen to her, but she's in danger."

"What?" The senses of the redhead became more alert as she stared that the white cat.

"Like I said, I don't know what will happen, or how dangerous it is, but Lucy is in danger. That's what my premonition has told me." Carla repeated.

"Where is she?" Erza immediately walked away, deeper into the room and tried to find the blonde.

"She's sleeping right now." Carla tried calling after her, but she doubted Erza had heard her. Shaking her head slightly, she followed the redhead.

Erza stepped into her room and sees Wendy reading a book while sitting on a chair near the bed that a lump of blankets could be found. She assumed it to be Lucy cuddled up in there. So she quickly turned to Wendy. "Is everything ok?"

Wendy turned her gaze to Erza and smiled a little. "She refused to eat or talk. But other than that she's fine."

Erza's mind quickly resolved to forcing her to eat again, but the new information that she was given told her not to. "Alright. I'll take care of things tonight. You may go back to your room."

Wendy stood up a little. "You sure?"

Erza nodded with a smile. "I researched couple of things. And I want to be alone with Lucy because of privacy. No offense Wendy."

Wendy shook her head. "Don't worry about it Erza-san."

Erza smiled as the small figure of the dragon slayer and a white cat reluctantly left Erza's room, and back into their own room.

Once she knew that she was alone, she turned back to her bed and sat in her chair, and contemplated on what to say to Lucy.

After couple minutes of silence, she decided to speak up. "Lucy."

No response.

"Lucy." Erza repeated with a more slightly harsh tone.

No response.

Erza had to fight to her urge to rip the blanket away from the blonde. So she tried a different tactic. She stood up again and sat on the edge of her bed, right next to Lucy.

"Lucy. Can I talk to you?"

"No."

At least she got a response. But Erza wasn't please with it. "Then can you listen?"

"No."

Erza sighed and resisted her urge to remove that damn blanket. "You're not alone, you know?" Erza said, trying to think of what else to say other than what she had heard from Daphne.

Lucy didn't respond this time.

Erza sighed a little. She tried to think of gentle approaches that she could use to help Lucy. She had couple of ideas. But she was unsure if it could be categorized as gentle.

"I talked to your father." Erza said, hoping that this would get her attention.

There was a silent gasp and a slight movement under the blanket, but Lucy remained silent.

"I know what happened. And I, more or less, know what you are going through." Erza continued her rambling, her eyes fixed on the lump of blankets situated on the bed.

Lucy remained silent and still, as if she was complementing on what she should do or say. But in the end, she remained unvocal and still.

Erza stared at the lump of where Lucy's head would be. "I've only learned what he had told me. And I know what he had done to you. But I don't know what your perspective of what had happened."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Lucy spat.

Erza sighed again. "I want you to tell me what happened between the two of you. Your...experience and your thoughts on what he did to you..." She frowned a little before moving closer to the blonde.

"I can help you."

"I don't want help."

Erza scooted closer to the blonde, her back still facing her. "Why don't you want help?"

"Because you don't understand."

Erza sighed again and tried to think of some ideas of getting Lucy to trust her again. She needed to be gentle.

 **(Erlu fluff ahead! You've been warned! XD ? ﾟﾘﾍ** **Tried making it depressing and cute at the same time...plz let me know if I succeeded lol** )

She looked at Lucy again before hesitating as she laid down behind the blonde and scooted closer to the young girl. Erza slightly blushed as she snaked her arm around the blonde's waist and hugged her gently.

This was outside the confort zone for the redhead. She isn't really that affectionate with anyone, or tries to intimate activities with another person. Hugging someone without her armor makes her anxious.

But Erza slightly smiled as she hugged Lucy closer to her from behind, feeling the warmth of the blonde and snuggled closer. It was the sensation that she was not used to, but she found herself wanting to feel more.

The redhead scooted closer rested her head near the back of Lucy's neck and hugged her a little tighter.

"You need to understand that I will always be here for you" Erza begun as she hugged Lucy tighter. "I may not understand what you had gone though, but you can certainly tell me so I can help you."

Lucy remained quiet and still as soon as Erza decided to be affectionate. She always seen her to be affectionate only during jobs and hugs them with her armor on. So, seeing Erza being affectionate without her armor is making Lucy unsure if she should do something or not.

So she decided to remain quiet and still as she laid on her side, feeling the arm of the redhead around get waist. She didn't want to know why Erza was hugging her, or why Erza was not relenting in her questions regarding her past. Why couldn't Erza just leave?!

"Lucy." A soft voice snapped the blonde out of her zone and back into reality.

"I want to help you...Please tell me what is going on..." Erza softly spoke as hugged Lucy from behind.

"...I don't want to talk about it..."

Erza gently bit her lip and tried to find another way to find her way Into Lucy's bubble. "Then do you want to show me?"

"Even if I wanted to, how could I do it? I'm not telling you anything." Lucy mumbled, having thoughts of hitting Erza and running away.

Erza silently sighed and scooted closer to the blonde, where her breathe tickles Lucy's neck. "Then take as long as you need to...Because I'm not going anywhere."

Lucy frowned and closed her eyes and remained unresponsive as she laid still and tried to ignore the arms wrapped around her waist.

Admist the muscles of Ezra's body, she wondered my her heart was skipping a beat or two. Did she need more food or something? Lack of water or food? Medical issues that she needed to look at?

In any case, Erza remained still as she kept her arm around the blonde, trying to be gentle as she was instructed to do and snuggled closer. She'll be honest and say that she is actually enjoying the feeling of having Lucy this close to her.

And within her pnag of thoughts, she wanted to keep Lucy safe forever.

 **A/N: welp, that's a wrap for this chapter ? I have mixed feelings about this, but I also like this.**

 **Tell me..what did you think of the fluff at the end? And was it cute and depressing at the same time? Plz let me know ? ﾟﾘﾅ** **?**

 **And please review and comment on your thoughts. I don't bite~**

 **Toodles!~~**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Heyo! College been stressful, but here is another chapter!**

 **Please enjoy?**

Morning came, and silence was the only thing that was heard as both Lucy and Erza laid in bed and slept. When Lucy was the first to wake, she was perplexed as she could feel how close Erza is close to her.

Feeling Erza's arms around her waist, and her head next to her neck, Lucy should've had trouble sleeping, as she had been struggling to get a good night sleep, but she had actually was able to have a decent sleep. She remained silent and still, slightly enjoying the position that she is in. She found it comforting for some reason, and she doesn't know why.

As the blonde stayed awake, she became more aware at exactly how close Erza was. She could practically feel the redhead's breast against her back, and her legs slightly entangled with hers. Lucy slightly blushed and tried moving a bit. But Erza, amidst her slumber, did not allow Lucy to move as she hugged the blonde slightly and firmly, and kept the distance to a minimal.

Lucy softly sighed and opted to stare at the wall in front of her. She tried to think of something to pass the time until Erza wakes up. But she couldn't think of anything as she was too distracted as Erza's legs tangled more with her legs. She was too distracted as Erza's breath tickled her neck. She was too distracted as Erza's arms were around her waist, slightly under her shirt. And she was too distracted as Erza's breast were more pressed against her back.

Lucy's face became slightly redder as she focused more on how close Erza was, and wanted to move, but the older woman was not letting her move an inch.

Maybe...if she tried facing her, she could get away?

Lucy tried moving and tried to move Erza's arms and legs as she struggled to change her position. When she was finally able to move, and sees that Erza's grip was loosened, she tried to get up.

But at that split second, Erza wrapped her arms around the blonde and tugged her close to her again, only where Lucy's face was stuffed between her breasts. This was not a good idea, the young blonde mourned as she registered how soft her breasts were.

Lucy immediately blushed and tried to move away, but Erza had a solid grip on her, and continued to sleep as she hugged the young girl in her arms. Lucy tried again and tried to use strength and push herself off of the older girl.

Unfortunately, she is too weak compared to the strength of the redhead. After couple more attempts, Lucy gave up and decided to just use Erza's chest as pillows.

The blonde sported a slight blush as she leaned into the soft mounds and let herself sink into them.

Lucy remained in that position for a few more minutes before she started to drift off again, leaning more into Erza's chest. Couple minutes later, Lucy was fast asleep again as she slept between Erza's soft mounds of flesh.

...

30 minutes later, Erza softly stirred slightly, and slowly opened her eyes. Yawning a little, she tried to move, but found herself restrained.

Perplexed by the inability to move, Erza looked down to see that Lucy had her armed wrapped around her tightly, with her face between her breast. She blushed a little at the sight of how adorable the blonde was being while sleeping between her breast and smiled.

She brought her hands and gently stroked Lucy's hair and stared at the young girl in admiration. She used her other free hand and held the girl close to her while stroking her long golden locks.

Erza looked at Lucy's face as she slept and smiled at how peaceful she looked. She continued to stroke Lucy's hair and enjoyed the small smile that was sported on the blonde's face.

Erza's thoughts ran from how peaceful Lucy looked as she slept, to how she would like to wake up to see the peaceful look of the blonde. She wanted to wake up to a beautiful pair of chocolate brown orbs that belonged to Lucy.

What confused Erza was on why she wanted to wake up to see Lucy besides her...of all people. Why Lucy? The more Erza asked herself the question, the more confused she gets, but the more confused she gets, the more she wants to stay by Lucy's side and not leave her. Why is this? Erza couldn't figure it out.

And she wanted to know why.

Why does she wants Lucy to be with her? Why does she feel so protective? Why does she feels so inclined to make sure Lucy isn't alone and that she is happy all the time?

Erza sighed a little before closing her eyes, her hand still performing the task of stroking Lucy's hair absentmindedly. She felt so comfortable right now, having Lucy in her arms like this. It felt so natural, and Erza could actually get used to the feeling. With a smile growing on the Redhead's face, silence was their only company. And it felt so peaceful. And Erza appreciated the silence.

Not another second, the silence was broken when Erza could hear some whimper from the blonde. The older woman looked down at the blonde in concerned and stroked Lucy's back to comfort her.

But Lucy continued to whimper in her sleep and started to move around a little. Erza pulled Lucy away a little and moved toward Lucy, and tried to calm her down, or wake her up from whatever is disturbing her.

The more Lucy thrashed around a little in her sleep, the more Erza was determined to keep the blonde safe, and opted to wake her up. But she soon learned the Lucy is a heavy sleeper.

Erza sighed before wrapping both of her arms around Lucy and held onto her tightly without letting her go. Lucy continued to move against Erza's grip, and was unable to penetrate the iron grip around her. After a few more minutes, Lucy soon calmed down and started to leaned into the redhead.

Erza didn't let go after the blonde calmed down. She wanted Lucy to feel safe, even in her sleep. Plus, Erza was comfortable with having the young mage in her arms.

Erza looked down at the blonde and noted a single tear running down Lucy's cheek. She frowned slightly before gently wiping the tear off of the blonde's cheek with her thumb. "It's okay Lucy. I'm here for you."

It took Lucy a couple minutes to fully calm down and leaned more into Erza. It wasn't long before Lucy was fast asleep again.

Erza smiled and keep rubbing Lucy's back. She glaze upon the sleeping beauty that slept peacefully in her arms, and relished the moment of the peaceful silence between her, Lucy, and their surroundings. Erza honestly wanted the silence to last forever. She wanted to stared down at Lucy and enjoy the sight of her sleeping in her arms.

Another 30 minutes later, and Erza was getting hungry. She looked down at Lucy for a moment before trying to get out of the blonde's grip so she could grab some food. But Lucy wasn't letting go, and she held onto the older woman more tightly.

Erza sighed a little and tried moving Lucy's arm off of her. But Lucy only snuggled closer to her, as if she didn't want Erza to leave.

Blushing a little, the redheaded girl leaned into Lucy's ears and whispered. "Hey...Lucy."

The aforementioned mages did not respond vocally, but snuggled more into the redhead's warmth.

Erza immediately blushed and smiles before shaking the blonde a little. "Lucy."

"Hmm...?" Lucy frowned a little in her sleep.

"Want to eat something?" Erza whispered in Lucy's ear as gently as she could.

Lucy opened her eyes a little and for a second, she panicked on where she was. She soon remembered being stuffed between Erza's breast. She blusher a little as still remained in the position before sitting up. "U-Um sure..."

Smiling, Erza sat up and patted Lucy's head. "What do you want? I can cook whatever you want."

"I-It can be anything..." Lucy stuttered while looking away.

"Alright." Erza stood up from the bed and looked down the blonde, remembering from the advice that she shouldn't leave the young girl alone. "Wanna hang out with me in the kitchen? Keep me company?"

Lucy turned to look at Erza. "And do what?"

Erza was silent for a second or two. "Wanna help me cook?"

"Eh?..." Lucy looked at the redhead, a bit suspicious. Erza had been acting strange since last night. Suddenly being all affectionate...and gentle. Was she going through a phase, or is she missing something? The blonde couldn't think of any reason why Erza would start being affectionate and gentle.

"Well?" Erza spoke up, snapping Lucy out of her reviere.

"Huh?"

"Wanna help me with cooking?" Erza repeated her question.

Lucy stared at the woman for a moment before softly sighing. "Sure..."

Erza smiled. "Great! Let's get started then."

"What will we be cooking?" Lucy asked as she reluctantly got off of the comfy bed.

"I was thinking strawberry cake." Erza said with stars in her eyes. Then she looked at Lucy with a determined look. "But I'll let you choose what you want to make."

"Eh?" Lucy frowned. "W-Well...I don't mind making strawberry cakes..."

Erza beamed and started taking the ingredients out. "Excellent! Then let start cooking!smallsmall silent chuckle escaped Lucy's mouth as she watched Erza running around the kitchen with excitement of a 10 year old. She honestly only saw this side one or two times since the day she had met the older woman, and it was quite rare to see this side. In any occasion...Lucy liked that passion that Erza has for specific things...especially anything regarding to sweets. And she found it cute, personally.

"Hey, what you doing there standing still? The cake won't bake itself" Erza called out, getting all of the necessary dishes out and cracked her knuckles.

Lucy immediately move and started to help Erza with cooking, slightly enjoying the side of Erza that she barely gets to see, and for some reason, she wanted to relish in the sight of a happy Erza that had gotten sweets. And what are these feelings?

With a little sigh, Lucy silently helped Erza with cooking the cake, while the redhead was eagerly awaiting for the mass of deliciousness known as cake, and she was greatly looking forward to them.

...

The cake is done, and is set out on the table, slices of them had already been consumed by the younge mages.

Erza reached out to grab another one, a small smile sported on her face as she enjoyed the taste of the cake, hungry for more, and hungry to taste them again.

Lucy was only satisfied with only eating one slice and opted to watch as Erza devoured the slices of cake. And soon, the size of the cake shrunk until there was nothing left.

"That was delicious!" Erza licked her lips and set the fork down.

Lucy hummed a little and kept her glaze on the table.

"Lucy...can we talk?" Erza spoke, now in her serious mode.

"Huh?" The blonde looked up at the redhead. "About what?"

Erza wondered for a minute on how to start to conversation. After couple of seconds, her opened her mouth. "About your father."

Lucy leaned against her chair, not liking where things are going, and remained unvocal.

"I-I...I talked to your father...not too long ago." Erza continued, keeping a close observation on the blonde

Lucy remained quiet and looked down on the table, clenching her hands.

Erza silently sighed and kept her glaze on the blonde. "You know you can talk to me...Right?"

"I don't know..." Lucy kept her glaze on the table.

 **A/N: What do you think? Kinda of a slow burn for the erlu to Happen. I don't like rushing it, but it's getting there. And I'm hoping you are seeing the hints of the slow burn.**

 **And I actually have second thoughts about this chapter, but I don't know lol, you tell me if this is good or not, or whether I should change it or not. Plz let me know**

 **Please comment and review on your thoughts. I don't bite~**

 **Toodles!~~**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Word of advice...Y'all are equally as** _ **important**_ **. Don't forget that.**

 **And yes...I wrote this chapter according to how I'm feeling irl. (which happened a long time ago) (feeling better now ;3)**

 **Please enjoy?**

Erza sat silently at her table while looking at the blonde across the table, being adamant on what to say and what to not say.

Lucy kept her glaze on the table, not wanting to talk about this, but she knew that Erza will force her to talk about it anyway. And she also has a feeling she already knows what happened if Erza had already talked to get father.

After a few moments of silence between them, Erza spoke up. "Lucy, you can tell me. I can help."

Lucy sighed before looking up at Erza. "And how can you help? I don't need help. You probably know everything now. So what do you need from me?" She spoke with a silent snarl.

"I don't need anything from you...but...I want you to know that I'm here for you. That you can talk to me about anything." Erza's said, trying to choose her words carefully.

"There is nothing to talk about. Why don't you just go and hang out with the others?" Lucy spat out.

"I want to be here...with you."

"Because you're afraid I might cut myself again? Because you don't trust me?" Lucy clenched her fist harder as she stared back at the older woman.

Erza was silent for a moment, trying to choose her words carefully. "I'm here as a friend."

"A friend? I think it's more of an obligation that you have to do. I'm sure you don't want to be here..."

"Of course I want to be here...You should know that. I won't let a friend suffer upon my behalf." Erza spoke with determination.

"No...I don't believe that. That's... Your motto, your...way to make sure you don't relive your past again."

Erza abruptly stood, a sudden pain shitting through her heart. "My past...has nothing to do with this."

Lucy stood up as well and stared at the older woman. "Jellal...Simon...and the others..."

"They has nothing to do with this!"

"Whatever happened on that tower... happened. And this guild? Fairy Tail? Think of it like the second tower of heaven. And knowing you, you'll do anything to stop anyone from dying or doing stupid shit. Like Natsu ravaging towns and-"

"ENOUGH!" Erza slammed the table and stared at the blonde in shock.

"It's the truth, and don't deny it. You're suffering...as much as I am." Lucy continued.

Erza took deep breathes to hold in her anger and look the younger girl. "Yes...I suffered after the tower. But...having friends...friends to help you. They give you new meanings. A chance to do protect someone you love."

"You know...I've tried that...losing my pain by hanging out with y'all. And to be honest? It worked. Until the phantom incident."

"Your father..." The knight muttered.

"I'm guessing you didn't see how I was suffering after that. Because that...was when I started to cut myself." Lucy motioned to her stomach, indicating the scars that were present on her skin.

"Lucy..."

"You guys were too busy with other stuff to really care. And it just proved my point. Y'all aren't my friends."

"You were hiding it!" Erza gritted her teeth.

"And aren't friends supposed to notice?"

Erza clenched her fists and glared at the blonde. "Friends...supposed to trust each other."

"I have...trust issues, if u didn't already know that."

Erza silently sighed before moving around the table and moved toward the blonde. But Lucy only stepped backward away from the redhead in anger.

"I'm tired." Lucy muttered.

"Then rest."

"No...I'm tired of your lies. Go and hang out with your other friends. They are more easier to fool than me."

Erza looked at Lucy, wondering how deep the scars ran. "I never lie...you should know that."

"Everyone lie. Even I do. You should know that."

Erza tried reaching out for Lucy again, but the blonde recoiled from her again. "Do you trust me?"

"No," was her immediate response.

"Lucy...what...did your father do to you?"

Lucy remained silent, and remained still as she stared at the redhead. "I thought you already knew. Considering how nosy you are."

"I'm trying you help you, Lucy. Please let me help you."

"If you want to help, then leave me alone."

"No. I'm not leaving you." Erza remained glued to the ground.

"Stubborn bitch..." Lucy muttered under her breath as she walked into the kitchen, wanting to get away from the nosy mage.

Erza silently followed the girl. "Tell me...why are you trying to kill yourself?"

The pale girl stopped and turned around and looked at the older woman dead in the eyes. "D-Do you ever get that feeling in your chest...where...something feels off?"

"U-Um...I'm afraid I'm not following?" Erza frowned.

"It's like...that feeling of excitement of happiness...only...that it isn't. It's like...you're anxious. Like...being busted for something that you know was coming. And you find it hard to breathe. Know that feeling?"

Erza frowned more. "Yes."

"That's been my life for a very long time. And you guys? Y'all were the distraction I needed. But it didn't last forever."

"What do you feel? Under the circumstances of that...condition?" Erza asked.

"What do you think?" Lucy crossed her arms.

Erza thought about the words Lucy had spoken, and the actions she had taken before. Being anxious. Cutting herself. She could only think of one thing... Or a couple. "Depression... Sadness... Longing?"

"Longing? Where the hell did you get that from?" Lucy raised an eyebrow.

"Just an superstition I have."

Lucy huffed. "Well that's a stupid superstition I've ever heard."

"Lucy...I know you. If you wanted to kill yourself so badly...then you wouldn't be here right now. You would've been long dead."

"You don't know anything."

"I think you're calling for help. You need comfort. You been through a lot. Your father? Your father won't hurt you again. I made sure of it."

"Perhaps you did throw him in jail...but it won't change the fact to what he had done to me. That won't change...ever. You...of all people should know that."

"Why say that?"

"Your old crush...Jellal...he betrayed you. Threatened you. Killed your friends. Especially Simon. They died a dog's death."

Erza had enough and grabbed Lucy by her wrist and held it tightly. "Don't talk about them like that."

"I just did..." Lucy whispered.

Erza was speechless. The Lucy she knew...she didn't know where she was right now. She doesn't even know who she's talking to. Lucy would never say these hurtful things.

"The same might happen at this guild...if you're not with them."

"What are you talking about?"

"How can you protect your friends if you're with me?"

Erza let go of Lucy and stepped back. "I am protecting them. You're my friend. And I'm trying to protect you."

"No one is hurting me."

"Perhaps...but you're hurting yourself."

Lucy stared at the older woman. "This is my body. I'm...merely decorating my body with memories."

"I'm not buying that Lucy."

"Oh, I'm sorry, it's not for sale."

Erza gritted her teeth. "Please...let me help you."

"Help? I don't need it." Lucy crossed her arms.

"Why!? Why aren't you letting me help you?! Why aren't you letting me in!?" Erza was desperate. She wanted to help Lucy. She wanted to ensure the safety of the blonde. She wanted her Lucy to happy.

Lucy backed away as Erza raised her voice. "That's personal."

Erza stalked closer to the blonde. "Whatever it is, it's eating you up. It's tearing you apart! Please tell me. Help me end your suffering."

Lucy didn't say anything. She only stared at the girl in front of her.

When she didn't get any response, Erza steppes closer. "Lucy. Let me help you."

"No."

"Maybe you're right, Erza."

"What?" The knight mage was taken aback for a split second.

"It is eating me up. My depression. My anger. Sadness. Regret. And you're right. It's getting worst."

Erza remained silent, sensing that the blonde had more to say, and is trying to figure out what she was trying to say.

"It...wasn't that bad in the beginning. I had fun with y'all. It was...a perfect distraction to actually live my life. But..."

"The phantom incident..." Erza muttered...knowing that was when it all started.

Lucy nodded. "Those feelings that I tried to forget? They came crashing down on me. First was anger. Then regret. Then my depression about the truth."

"The truth?" Erza repeated questioningly.

"No matter what you do...you can't change it. You can't... Run away from it. Because it'll follow you to the end. Until you draw your final breath."

Erza frowned as she looked at Lucy. "You wanted to die to escape it all?"

Lucy glared at the redhead, knowing full well that she could never understand what she is feeling. They all will never understand. The voices in her head, they understand. "You wouldn't understand."

"Help me understand then." Erza looked almost desperate now. She didn't want to lose Lucy. Not now or ever. She doesn't want that.

"You still won't understand."

"You need to stop this...This...is being selfish. I-I...how would you think we'd feel if you killed yourself?" Erza muttered.

Lucy looked at the redhead. "Like...a pest had been eliminated. A burden now gone."

"Is that how you think you are?!"

"It's...what the voices been saying."

Erza frowned and narrowed her eyes in confusion. "Voices."

"My subconscious. The voices in my head."

"Y-You...voices?" Erza stuttered.

"They tell me things. Good and bad. Mostly tell me the truth."

Erza was almost afraid to find out the truth. "What is it?"

"That I'm worthless." Lucy spoke like she believed in it.

Erza looked at the blonde before walking in front of you and grabbed her hands and held it tightly so she won't recoil from her. "Worthless...is not in our vocabulary in Fairy Tail. You...are strong. And powerful."

Lucy tried tugging her hands away, but found she couldn't, so she just glared at the girl in front of her. "I don't care."

"That's fine. But know this...you are in our perspective. And we have immense respect for you."

Lucy could almost say that she forgot what having respect is like. She could say she respected her father...before he changed. After that...Lucy found it hard to respect other people. "That holds no meaning to me."

"Lucy...I-"

"Hey guys!" The door slammed open and Mira walked straight in with a smile.

"Mira? What are you doing here?" Erza turned her head to face the barmaid.

"Just wanted to check up on y'all. And also, Master wanted me to give you a message Erza." Mira smiled while looking at the redhead.

"Is it urgent?" Erza frowned.

Mira nodded.

Erza sighed before looking at Lucy, who only gave her a silent glare while remaining quiet. "Mira, can you watch Lucy for me?"

"It would be my pleasure." Mira smiled.

"I don't need a babysitter." Lucy hissed at the redhead.

Erza looked at Lucy. "I'm no risking you hurting yourself again."

"Why do you care?" Lucy then tried whipping her hands away from Erza's and stepped back.

Erza sighed before turning to Mira. "Don't let her do anything rash."

Mira nodded and watched as the redhead walked out of the room before turning yo a blonde who was glaring at her.

"Wanna play a game?" The barmaid smiled gently.

...

Erza quickly made her way to the guild, wondering what was so important to have her leave Lucy's side.

Once she was outside Makarov's door, she quickly knocked and opened it and sees the master standing near his desk, along with a messenger.

It wasn't long till they noticed her presence.

Makarov turned to Erza. "Erza, brat. Please come here."

Erza complied and walked closer to the two men. "Is anything wrong master?"

Makarov merely turned to the messenger. "Tell her what you told me."

The messenger turned to the young mage. "The man you arrested earlier. For child abuse I believe? He escaped."

"What?" Erza was surprised to hear this. "How, what happened?!" She walked front of the mage and immediately intimidated the man.

"There were others...that had helped him escaped. That broke him out."

Erza stepped back and cursed under her breath. This wasn't good. This means Lucy may get hurt again.

 **A/N: This story was getting really boring... So I decided to do something different.** **Is it any better?**

 **umm...plz** ** **review and comment on ur thoughts?****

 ** **Toodles!~~****


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: It honestly feels weird to write this chapter when I'm not all that depressed lol. I'm actually very happy. Does nervous happy counts? lol**

 **Please enjoy?**

Shortly after leaving Master's office, Erza immediately looked for a certain raven and pink haired boy. She immediately spotted them at the far corner, glaring at each other demonically.

Erza needed them to be stationed around Lucy's apartment to keep her father away. She doesn't want to risk her having another breakdown. It would break her heart to see Lucy in such state.

The more guarded Lucy's place is, the less odds there are for her father to come in contact with her.

Erza needed capture Jude again

...

"What!? Do you even know what the term 'privacy' means?" Lucy gritted through her teeth as she glared at the redhead.

Erza stuttered a little. "Yes... But think of it as an extended sleepover."

"I don't want a sleepover. I want to be alone. And you have been invading my privacy for weeks! You even did inspection of your place five times a day!"

"I wanted to make sure that you were safe."

"From who?" Lucy spat, crossing her arms.

Erza silently sighed and looked at Lucy in the eyes. "I think you know."

Lucy let out a ragged sigh in dismay. "Fine, but you're sleeping in the other side of the room. And ON the floor."

"Fine with me." Erza honestly had no qualms with sleeping on the floor. She did it before on countless jobs. This isn't anything different. As long she is close to the blonde to ensure her safety.

"Good. Now I'm going to shower. Stay away." Lucy ordered before entering the shower and slammed the door behind her, locking it in the process.

Couple seconds later, Erza let out a long sigh before scanning the room. She know that Lucy won't like it, but she'll have to get ride of some 'dangerous' objects for the time being. She isn't taking any chances.

15 minutes later, the armored mage had managed to get rid of all potential 'dangerous' objects and leaned against the wall next to the bathroom. She rested her head against the wall and relaxed a little to get rid of the stress invading her body. She was honestly tired and wanted a good night sleep. But Lucy was her top priority.

Erza honestly could understand how Lucy feels. Or what she is going through. Erza was suicidal herself once. When she had escaped the tower and joined Fairy Tail, she often held a blade to her skin and contemplated on her decisions.

And Erza had heard voices in her head. Why did she deserved this? Why is she so lonely? Erza had lost everything that she held dear.

It had took the redhead to come to her senses.

She had found a new family. A place that she can start over. She could leave the past in the past. And just move forward. She was still standing with a heart made of steel. She couldn't be broken that easily. And she won't break now.

But Lucy... She was difficult to crack. Erza couldn't understand what was keeping Lucy on the suicide path. At first, she figured it was her father. If he was locked up, Lucy could be safe again. But Lucy been acting saltier.

Erza knew the answer though. Lucy was lonely. She was scared and refused to let anyone in. But Erza was lost on how to get Lucy to open up again.

Snapping out of her reverie, the redhead looked at the time and saw that Lucy had been in the bathroom for 30 minutes. Alarmed, Erza straightened herself and turned to the door, knocking loud enough for the blonde to hear.

But she got no response. The knight knocked harder, almost pounding on the door.

"Lucy!"

"..."

"Lucy?!"

"..."

"LU-"

The door sudden opened up, an angry looking blonde stepping through the wooden door. "WHAT?! Can't I just shower in peace!? Geez!"

Erza blushed a little, seeing how the blonde was only covered by her tower. Her collarbone seems to have its color back, and it looks... sexy in the old girl's opinion. "S-Sorry. I panicked."

Lucy scoffed. "Whatever." She walked away from the knight mage and toward her dresser. How much Lucy had missed her own clothes.

Erza sighed and leaned against the wall, letting her cheeks return to normal and watched the blonde from the distance.

When Lucy dropped her towel to put clothes on, there was a loud crash that caused her to jump. She turned around to see Erza blushing bright red with the wall cracked behind her head. "... What happened?"

When Erza saw Lucy's butt cheeks, she literally slammed her head hard against the wall, blushing profusely in the process. "A-Ah...I-I'll fix the damage to the wall. M-My apologies." She stuttered while keeping her eyes on the floor.

What was wrong with her?

Lucy sighed heavily. "You better." She turned back to her dresser to put some clothes on.

Erza tried, she really did. But something was tugging her to look. And she did. Lucy's long slender pale legs, her perfect shaped back, and her long beautiful blonde locks waving in the air. She couldn't look away.

"Pretty..." The redhead whispered to herself, as if she's in a trance.

Although it was a whisper, it was still audible for the blonde to hear the older girl. "What?" Lucy questioned.

Erza locked her jaws shut as she realized she said it out loud and looked away. "What?"

Lucy turned around as soon she put her shirt over her. "You said something."

"I didn't say anything, Must've been the wind." Erza kept her jaws locked, afraid to be caught oogling her friend.

Why was Erza oogling the blonde in the first place? She couldn't understand it.

"Whatever. I'm going to bed. Don't come near me." Lucy walked toward her bed, and bed herself comfortable.

Erza silently sighed as the blonde was walking to her bed, and tried to calm her beating heart. "N-Night..."

The redhead did not move a muscle for the next 10 minutes, just staring at the lump under the blankets. Her thoughts drifting off in cloud 9. Her mind was blank, unresponsive and quiet.

Not another second, Erza felt a presence outside and it seemed to be nearing Lucy's apartment. It felt familiar, too familiar. Alarm filling her senses, the redhead walked toward the door and closed it behind her once she was outside.

The streets were empty, and there was no one in sight. But she could still feel it. It was near...

"Erza!"

Erza quickly turned around, summoning a sword in the process, ready to cut down the shady person.

"Whoa! Calm down! I'm on your side!" The figure exclaimed, with a terrified tone.

Erza took a pause and realized it was Natsu that had snuck up on her. "I told you to stay at your post! What are you doing here?!"

"I came to tell you something, is that not allowed?" Natsu silently swallowed from the glare he was receiving, knowing that Erza was sending death threats.

With a heavy sigh, Erza sent her weapon back to her realm and silently scowled. "Make it quick."

"I saw a shady person with a cloak on. I tried chasing him. But I track of him. My nose can't find him."

"Really? Was he headed this way?" Erza questioned.

"I dunno. I just saw someone who seemed really shady." Natsu shrugged.

Erza sighed. "Okay... If you see him again, try and not lose him."

"Alright... And Erza?"

"Hmm?"

"I might not had destroyed couple of buildings while I chasing him..." Natsu nervously said.

Erza let it sink in for a moment before raising her fist and punched Natsu hard in the stomach. "You Idiot!" She screamed, sending the dragonslayer across the sidewalk.

...

It was quiet. It was silent. It was deadly to listen. It made her feel so insignificant as she continued to listen to what the wind had to offer. And it wasn't that much. She couldn't hear a thing.

Lucy believed that no one could understand her. Her problems couldn't be understood because she believed that she is alone. No one had to deal with an abusive father. No one had to go through the things that she had. No one would understand her. No one.

Sighing deeply, Lucy covered herself and closed her eyes.

Within darkness, everything was still. Within Darkness, everything was silent. Within darkness, everything was lost, and Lucy struggled. She couldn't breathe within the concept of her own will. Voices screaming in her mind, voices of the damned.

Her skin on fire, her senses to a minimum, her sight is nothing but a blur. But Lucy know for sure...that she is crying.

Faster than lighting bold, Lucy sat up from her bed, breathing heavy. She looked around her room to find that she's alone, and she hoped to be alone.

That urge that got her into this mess came back. And it screamed at her do it again. The temptation of wishing all the pain made it to a point to where Lucy would anything to get rid of it.

She wanted it gone.

Lucy ripped the blanket off of her and walked to her kitchen and looked for a sharp blade that she could use.

She opened the drawer and saw it was empty. She opened another one, and another one. She became very frustrated that she pulled the drawer out and threw it to the other side of the room in frustration. She slid to the floor and hugged her knees, silently sobbing.

She wanted the pain to disappear. Why couldn't anyone understand this?

 **A/N: Am I losing my touch in writing this story?**

 **Please review and comment on your thoughts! I don't bite!~**

 **Toodles!~~**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Before reading this chapter, just know that in your life, you will meet people who are the shittiest of the shit. People who are fcked up and those that had hurt your feelings. So I'll tell you this... Ignore them. Damn them. They aren't worth your time. Erase them out of your life! Imagine them drowning in a sea of fire! Imagine them suffering for all eternity!**

 **^.^ Anyway, Please enjoy?**

You are your own person, you should be able to do whatever you want. No one should tell you otherwise.

When stars falls, they have the right to get back up, where it belongs.

They deserve every right to be its own person. Let it be known, that they are capable of discerning what's right and wrong.

But in a larger sense, individuality cannot compare to the concept of what it serves for. Individuality only serves for a greater purpose to give one purpose in life. To live its life to a fullfillment with desire and pleasure.

But to Lucy, her individuality was destroyed long ago, and she had struggled to build up a new one, where she will not be haunted by her past. But her foundation was weak.

Foundation made of sand, easily destroyed with a gust of wind or a wave passing through.

And she had enough of it.

Erza refused to let Lucy do what she wanted. She refused Lucy to do what was her own business. Plain example that her individuality was already lost.

Lucy silently sobbed as she leaned against her cabinet, burying her face in her knees, wishing it all to be over.

She want it to end.

"Lucy?" A voice rang out in the silent, as opposed to the silent sobs heard.

Erza walked in with alarm when she heard a large crash and noted a drawer out of place on a ground. She looked around until she sees Lucy huddled against the cabinet, visibly shaking.

And she immediately knew why.

"Lucy." She called out.

A slight hiccup was her only response as Lucy continued to cry.

Erza wondered what she should do in instances of anyone crying like this. Is the method the same when someone is depressed?

She doesn't have time to look through books to know what she should do. She needs to act fast.

With a deep breath, Erza walked forward cautiously as sat next to Lucy and stared at her beautiful blonde hair. "Lucy."

"L-Leave me alone", The blonde sniffled, leaning away a little.

Erza sighed a little. "Is everything okay?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I love you."

...What? Erza frowned. Where did that come from? But it did gained Lucy's attention.

Lucy turned her head to look at Erza. "What?"

Erza silently swallowed and looked at Lucy. "I said I love you."

"I know what you said, but why?"

Eras frowned at Lucy, wondering why she is trying so hard to reject her and her other friends. "Because I enjoy out talks. Your company. And you are never afraid of anything... Except for spiders. But you're brave."

Lucy scoffed and looked away. "Lies."

Erza looked at Lucy for a couple second before asking, "Why were you crying?"

Lucy didn't respond. She kept still and hugged her knees tightly.

"Are you okay?"

"..."

Eras sighs and moves closer and carefully and cautiously wrapped her arm around the blonde and gently pulled her toward her chest to comfortably hug the girl. Lucy offered no resistance, as she gave up hope when dealing with the armored mage.

"You can talk to me about anything."

"..."

Erza was growing impatient, but she decided to keep her mouth shut and held Lucy closer to her chest, trying to give her a sense of security.

5 minutes later, neither girls had moved an inch, and Erza was getting sleepy, but her grip never waned.

Lucy on the other hand, although harboring anger toward the redhead, she finds the embrace to be soothing.

The same feeling of when she was embraced couple nights ago, she felt again.

Lucy couldn't tell if it was the position they are in, or if it was the arms that was wrapped securely around her. Or the fact that her head was basically resting on Erza's chest.

To this revelation, Lucy realized that Erza had not worn armor around her, not even once. Marginally smiling, Lucy leaned more into the redhead and closed her head and drifted off into peaceful slumber in seconds.

Erza smiled when Lucy scooted closer to her. As much as remaining unvocal and just embracing the girl was a risk, the gamble was sure worth it.

As Erza drifted off into slumber with Lucy, one thing remained in her thoughts: why did she say that she loved her?

She felt that it was meant to be more than a friends thing, and be meant for something much more. But... what?

...

The night went by without much trouble, and the air hung with soothing atmosphere with a comforting silence as Lucy slept, leaning on the redhead, her arms managing to wrap around the redhead amidst her sleep.

Erza opened her eyes a little, yawning a little and tried to shift to a different position until seeing that she was bounded. Frowning, she turned to see that Lucy had her arms wrapped around her waist tightly.

Chuckling silently to herself, Erza moved her hand and stroked Lucy's cheek softly and stared at her. And only one thing was going through her mind: She's beautiful.

Erza leaned in slowly, and softly landed a small kiss on Lucy's forehead. The latter shifted a little at the contact, leaning more into the redhead.

The knight mage smiled at the action and moved her hand to Lucy's arm and stroked it while watching the blonde sleep.

Couple minutes later, Erza stopped what she was doing, realizing that she was being creepy while staring at the blonde. She decided to get up, scooping the blonde into her arms in the process, and walked to her room. She gently laid the blonde on the soft padding, and covered her with the blanket.

Stepping away from the bed, Erza sighed. She needed a distraction to not stare at the blonde. She walked into the kitchen and looked around. Perhaps she should cook the blonde something?

"Hmm... Maybe Lucy would like some cake."

Erza walked to the fridge to see if all of the ingredients were present. After gathering all of the required ingredients needed, she began the first step.

...

Making a cake was harder than she thought. After couple of attempts and failures of mixing the batter, she was able to cook the batter. Now she just needed to but some icing on it, and some strawberry toppings. She can't wait to eat it!

Wait, she was making them for Lucy, not for herself. Erza must not get ahead of herself. She resolved to make her own batch later on. The blonde girl was her priority.

She reached into another cabinet to grab the icing until she heard a voice she wasn't expecting for another hour or so.

"What are you doing?"

Erza jumped a little and turned to see a fatigued looking blonde standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "M-Making a cake?"

Lucy gave her a look as she scanned her kitchen. "Looks like a bomb was dropped as the ingredients was running away from you."

Erza drily chuckled. "I'm not that good at cooking, but I wanted to make a cake for you."

"A cake? Could you had chose something...I don't know...simple?" Lucy raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know any other recipe..." Erza nervously chuckled as she set down the icing next to the cake.

"Well... I am hungry. So I'll guess I have desert for breakfast." Lucy grumbled.

Erza smiled a little and got an idea. "Wanna decorate the cake with me?"

Lucy took a few seconds before sighing, nodding as she stepped forward.

The knight mage beamed before equipping a dull butter knife and handed it to the blonde before equipping her own. "I'll take this side, and you'll do the other half."

Lucy sighed before applying the icing to the cake.

The redhead stared at the younger girl with a small smile before adding icing to the cake.

Halfway through the cake, Erza looked up, seeing that the celestial mage was still in a grumpy mood. She wanted to lighten the mood. So she tried to be daring and flicked some icing at Lucy, landing on her cheek.

"Hey! Why you do that?" Lucy scowled, wiping the icing off.

"Thought I throw something sweet at you, to make you sweeter."

Lucy narrowed her eyes before flicking some icing at Erza, landing on her hair. She laughed at the reaction of Erza's when the icing wouldn't come out.

"Oh, now it's on." Erza declared, throwing some more icing at the blonde.

Lucy laughed and did the same.

It was a sweet war between the knight mage and the celestial mage.

...

"Man we ran out, now we can't finish the cake." Erza pouted, looking at the half-finished product.

"Just put some strawberry on it, and it'll be fine." Lucy said, putting some strawberry on the cake. "I'm hungry... and tired."

"Good idea." Erza agreed.

Lucy turned to Erza. "First, you're going to pay for the damages that you broke while throwing icing around, including that wall. And second... I need a knife so I can cut the cake."

Erza stared at the blonde for a second. She wondered if she should trust a knife to the blonde. She knows that Lucy wanted to cut herself last night. Maybe today is different?

"And no, I won't hurt myself. I'm hungry." Lucy voiced her reasoning, knowing what the redhead was thinking about.

Erza decided to trust the blonde and equipped a cutting knife and reluctantly handed it to Lucy.

The blonde grabbed it and quickly cut the cut in six pieces and took out two plates and put one on each.

Then she went to find forks, but couldn't find them. So she turned and glared at the older woman who had stars in her eyes as she stared at the cake that was presented before her. "Seriously? Even the forks?"

Erza looked at Lucy when she heard the tone of her voice. "I didn't want to risk it. Forks are sharp." Nonetheless, the equipped two forks and handed one to Lucy.

The two young girls ate their slice of cake in silence, enjoying the taste that the cake had to offer, despite the lack of icing.

When Erza was finished with her slice, she was tempted to grab another slice, but she restrained herself. She made them for the girl that sat on the other side of the table. She stared at the blonde beauty as she took another bite and asked the question that she had been wondering for awhile. She is worried that Lucy will shut her out again and start cussing at her. But she needs to know.

"What was the nightmare about? From the other night?"

Lucy paused and swallowed what she had in her mouth and looked at the redhead across the table. "Why are you so nosy?"

"Because I care."

"I don't really remember what the dream was about." Lucy spat out, only half of it being the truth.

"Something must had drove you to the kitchen when I found you there. You can tell me." Erza pressed on.

Lucy heavily sighed before setting the fork down and looked down on her lap. She recalled the dream that made her so afraid, so lonely.

And she hated feeling lonely. So she quickly retorted to a blade a knife that she had called friend for the past few months. What else is there to deal with the loneliness?

"Lucy, I'm here for you, please tell me." Erza spoke up again when Lucy kept her glaze to her lap.

"The... The nightmare was more of a recalling... I think."

Erza nodded for the blonde to continue. "Go on."

"I remember... feeling lonely."

 **A/N: Imma stop it here**

 **Please tell me... Was this developing too fast? Please tell me. Was it too OCC?**

 **Please comment and review on your thoughts. I don't bite~**

 **Toodles!~~**

 **A/N: Before reading this chapter, just know that in your life, you will meet people who are the shittiest of the shit. People who are fcked up and those that had hurt your feelings. So I'll tell you this... Ignore them. Damn them. They aren't worth your time. Erase them out of your life! Imagine them drowning in a sea of fire! Imagine them suffering for all eternity!**

 **^.^ Anyway, Please enjoy?**

You are your own person, you should be able to do whatever you want. No one should tell you otherwise.

When stars falls, they have the right to get back up, where it belongs.

They deserve every right to be its own person. Let it be known, that they are capable of discerning what's right and wrong.

But in a larger sense, individuality cannot compare to the concept of what it serves for. Individuality only serves for a greater purpose to give one purpose in life. To live its life to a fulfillment with desire and pleasure.

But to Lucy, her individuality was destroyed long ago, and she had struggled to build up a new one, where she will not be haunted by her past. But her foundation was weak.

Foundation made of sand, easily destroyed with a gust of wind or a wave passing through.

And she had enough of it.

Erza refused to let Lucy do what she wanted. She refused Lucy to do what was her own business. Plain example that her individuality was already lost.

Lucy silently sobbed as she leaned against her cabinet, burying her face in her knees, wishing it all to be over.

She want it to end.

"Lucy?" A voice rang out in the silent, as opposed to the silent sobs heard.

Erza walked in with alarm when she heard a large crash and noted a drawer out of place on a ground. She looked around until she sees Lucy huddled against the cabinet, visibly shaking.

And she immediately knew why.

"Lucy." She called out.

A slight hiccup was her only response as Lucy continued to cry.

Erza wondered what she should do in instances of anyone crying like this. Is the method the same when someone is depressed?

She doesn't have time to look through books to know what she should do. She needs to act fast.

With a deep breath, Erza walked forward cautiously as sat next to Lucy and stared at her beautiful blonde hair. "Lucy."

"L-Leave me alone", The blonde sniffled, leaning away a little.

Erza sighed a little. "Is everything okay?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I love you."

...What? Erza frowned. Where did that come from? But it did gained Lucy's attention.

Lucy turned her head to look at Erza. "What?"

Erza silently swallowed and looked at Lucy. "I said I love you."

"I know what you said, but why?"

Eras frowned at Lucy, wondering why she is trying so hard to reject her and her other friends. "Because I enjoy out talks. Your company. And you are never afraid of anything... Except for spiders. But you're brave."

Lucy scoffed and looked away. "Lies."

Erza looked at Lucy for a couple second before asking, "Why were you crying?"

Lucy didn't respond. She kept still and hugged her knees tightly.

"Are you okay?"

"..."

Eras sighs and moves closer and carefully and cautiously wrapped her arm around the blonde and gently pulled her toward her chest to comfortably hug the girl. Lucy offered no resistance, as she gave up hope when dealing with the armored mage.

"You can talk to me about anything."

"..."

Erza was growing impatient, but she decided to keep her mouth shut and held Lucy closer to her chest, trying to give her a sense of security.

5 minutes later, neither girls had moved an inch, and Erza was getting sleepy, but her grip never waned.

Lucy on the other hand, although harboring anger toward the redhead, she finds the embrace to be soothing.

The same feeling of when she was embraced couple nights ago, she felt again.

Lucy couldn't tell if it was the position they are in, or if it was the arms that was wrapped securely around her. Or the fact that her head was basically resting on Erza's chest.

To this revelation, Lucy realized that Erza had not worn armor around her, not even once. Marginally smiling, Lucy leaned more into the redhead and closed her head and drifted off into peaceful slumber in seconds.

Erza smiled when Lucy scooted closer to her. As much as remaining unvocal and just embracing the girl was a risk, the gamble was sure worth it.

As Erza drifted off into slumber with Lucy, one thing remained in her thoughts: why did she say that she loved her?

She felt that it was meant to be more than a friends thing, and be meant for something much more. But... what?

...

The night went by without much trouble, and the air hung with soothing atmosphere with a comforting silence as Lucy slept, leaning on the redhead, her arms managing to wrap around the redhead amidst her sleep.

Erza opened her eyes a little, yawning a little and tried to shift to a different position until seeing that she was bounded. Frowning, she turned to see that Lucy had her arms wrapped around her waist tightly.

Chuckling silently to herself, Erza moved her hand and stroked Lucy's cheek softly and stared at her. And only one thing was going through her mind: She's beautiful.

Erza leaned in slowly, and softly landed a small kiss on Lucy's forehead. The latter shifted a little at the contact, leaning more into the redhead.

The knight mage smiled at the action and moved her hand to Lucy's arm and stroked it while watching the blonde sleep.

Couple minutes later, Erza stopped what she was doing, realizing that she was being creepy while staring at the blonde. She decided to get up, scooping the blonde into her arms in the process, and walked to her room. She gently laid the blonde on the soft padding, and covered her with the blanket.

Stepping away from the bed, Erza sighed. She needed a distraction to not stare at the blonde. She walked into the kitchen and looked around. Perhaps she should cook the blonde something?

"Hmm... Maybe Lucy would like some cake."

Erza walked to the fridge to see if all of the ingredients were present. After gathering all of the required ingredients needed, she began the first step.

...

Making a cake was harder than she thought. After couple of attempts and failures of mixing the batter, she was able to cook the batter. Now she just needed to but some icing on it, and some strawberry toppings. She can't wait to eat it!

Wait, she was making them for Lucy, not for herself. Erza must not get ahead of herself. She resolved to make her own batch later on. The blonde girl was her priority.

She reached into another cabinet to grab the icing until she heard a voice she wasn't expecting for another hour or so.

"What are you doing?"

Erza jumped a little and turned to see a fatigued looking blonde standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "M-Making a cake?"

Lucy gave her a look as she scanned her kitchen. "Looks like a bomb was dropped as the ingredients was running away from you."

Erza drily chuckled. "I'm not that good at cooking, but I wanted to make a cake for you."

"A cake? Could you had chose something...I don't know...simple?" Lucy raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know any other recipe..." Erza nervously chuckled as she set down the icing next to the cake.

"Well... I am hungry. So I'll guess I have desert for breakfast." Lucy grumbled.

Erza smiled a little and got an idea. "Wanna decorate the cake with me?"

Lucy took a few seconds before sighing, nodding as she stepped forward.

The knight mage beamed before equipping a dull butter knife and handed it to the blonde before equipping her own. "I'll take this side, and you'll do the other half."

Lucy sighed before applying the icing to the cake.

The redhead stared at the younger girl with a small smile before adding icing to the cake.

Halfway through the cake, Erza looked up, seeing that the celestial mage was still in a grumpy mood. She wanted to lighten the mood. So she tried to be daring and flicked some icing at Lucy, landing on her cheek.

"Hey! Why you do that?" Lucy scowled, wiping the icing off.

"Thought I throw something sweet at you, to make you sweeter."

Lucy narrowed her eyes before flicking some icing at Erza, landing on her hair. She laughed at the reaction of Erza's when the icing wouldn't come out.

"Oh, now it's on." Erza declared, throwing some more icing at the blonde.

Lucy laughed and did the same.

It was a sweet war between the knight mage and the celestial mage.

...

"Man we ran out, now we can't finish the cake." Erza pouted, looking at the half-finished product.

"Just put some strawberry on it, and it'll be fine." Lucy said, putting some strawberry on the cake. "I'm hungry... and tired."

"Good idea." Erza agreed.

Lucy turned to Erza. "First, you're going to pay for the damages that you broke while throwing icing around, including that wall. And second... I need a knife so I can cut the cake."

Erza stared at the blonde for a second. She wondered if she should trust a knife to the blonde. She knows that Lucy wanted to cut herself last night. Maybe today is different?

"And no, I won't hurt myself. I'm hungry." Lucy voiced her reasoning, knowing what the redhead was thinking about.

Erza decided to trust the blonde and equipped a cutting knife and reluctantly handed it to Lucy.

The blonde grabbed it and quickly cut the cut in six pieces and took out two plates and put one on each.

Then she went to find forks, but couldn't find them. So she turned and glared at the older woman who had stars in her eyes as she stared at the cake that was presented before her. "Seriously? Even the forks?"

Erza looked at Lucy when she heard the tone of her voice. "I didn't want to risk it. Forks are sharp." Nonetheless, the equipped two forks and handed one to Lucy.

The two young girls ate their slice of cake in silence, enjoying the taste that the cake had to offer, despite the lack of icing.

When Erza was finished with her slice, she was tempted to grab another slice, but she restrained herself. She made them for the girl that sat on the other side of the table. She stared at the blonde beauty as she took another bite and asked the question that she had been wondering for awhile. She is worried that Lucy will shut her out again and start cussing at her. But she needs to know.

"What was the nightmare about? From the other night?"

Lucy paused and swallowed what she had in her mouth and looked at the redhead across the table. "Why are you so nosy?"

"Because I care."

"I don't really remember what the dream was about." Lucy spat out, only half of it being the truth.

"Something must had drove you to the kitchen when I found you there. You can tell me." Erza pressed on.

Lucy heavily sighed before setting the fork down and looked down on her lap. She recalled the dream that made her so afraid, so lonely.

And she hated feeling lonely. So she quickly retorted to a blade a knife that she had called friend for the past few months. What else is there to deal with the loneliness?

"Lucy, I'm here for you, please tell me." Erza spoke up again when Lucy kept her glaze to her lap.

"The... The nightmare was more of a recalling... I think."

Erza nodded for the blonde to continue. "Go on."

"I remember... feeling lonely."

 **A/N: Imma stop it here**

 **Please tell me... Was this developing too fast? Please tell me. Was it too OCC?**

 **Please comment and review on your thoughts. I don't bite~**

 **Toodles!~~**


	13. Chapter 13

****A/N: Hey everyone, it's been so long and I wanna apologize for that. Been depressed, not too extreme, but where I have no motivation to even care about anything. Recently been taking these pills, and as you can see ? I'm back! Lol. Also school is a bitch ?**** ** **ﾟﾑﾌ****

 ** **And a little advice from me, don't let others drag you down. Don't let others tell you what you can or can't do. Don't let the misfortune of what you can't do, discourage you. You are strong, stronger than you think. And you can do anything, if you believe that you can do it. And never give up. Love you ?****

 ** **^.^ Please enjoy? ?****

She ponders about her existence, and why she felt so lonely. Everyday, she can hear the lonely echoes in her ears. The echoes speaks, and it repeats the same thing over and over.

"You're not alone."

She doesn't understand what it means. She can't comprehend it. The lonely echoes of the endless lies and deception that she had convinced herself.

"Lucy.

Lucy looked up slightly, her eyes still focused on the table.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"..." Lucy remained silent while she contemplated on what she should do. She felt conflicted as she massaged the fork in her hands.

Amidst the little icing battle, Lucy noticed how she only thought about revenge and sending another spoonful of icing towards Erza's way. After so long, she actually had fun, and she doesn't know if she should be scared, hopeful, or sad.

Erza tapped on the table with a rhythm, and stared at the young blonde on the other side of the table. "I'm here for you."

Lucy remained silent, terrified of what she might say, unsure of what to think.

Erza hummed for a second before a smirk played on her face as she scooted her chair a little to the side, closer to Lucy. "Speechless? Little blonde?"

"Huh?"

"Are you speechless?" Erza smirked, scooting a little more closer to the blonde.

"... Why would I be speechless?" Lucy questioned.

"Because you're nervous." Erza scooted even closer.

Lucy's heart began to beat a little faster, anxious that the redhead girl may had figured it out. "... About...?"

Then Erza was shoulder-to-shoulder with Lucy and wrapped her arm around the blonde. And spoke with a playful jokingly tone, "Because you have a crush on me, and you can't look at me properly hehe." Erza jokingly smirked.

Lucy blushed a little, surprised by what the blonde said. Though a little relieved that it wasn't what she thought initially. "W-What?"

Erza playfully pulled on Lucy's cheek, "You heard me, and don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."

Lucy turned her head and looked st Erza, noticing how close she was to her. Her strong arms around her, her soft fingers softly pulling her cheek. What was going on? Lucy blushed a little more and tried pulling away a little.

But Erza had other plans. Pulling Lucy closer to her, and leaned in to kiss her cheek.

Lucy's heart was beating a little faster now and blushed even more. "U-um.."

Then Erza wrapped her arms around the blonde and nuzzled against Lucy's cheek. "You're cute Lucy. You're sweet. You're amazing. You're strong. You're unique. You're special. One of a kind. And I love you. We all love you, Lucy."

All Lucy could focus on was the fact that Erza was nuzzling against her, and all she could think is how adorable that was. And she didn't want it to stop. So she moved her arms around the redhead girl and hugged her, not wanting her to stop the nuzzling act.

Erza smiled and hugged her a little tighter. "Don't forget that, alright?"

"Huh?" Lucy suddenly came back to Earth.

"What I just said." Erza stopped the nuzzling and pulled back a little to look at the blonde.

"...Um... What did you say?" Lucy asked.

"..." Erza wondered what made the blonde to hug her back.

"S-Sorry... I was focusing on the way you were nuzzling..." Lucy nervously stuttered, a hint of embarrassment evident in her voice.

Erza snickered when she heard that. "Really? You like nuzzling? Then I'll go that everyday for you, if you promise not to hurt yourself anymore."

Lucy immediately and unconsciously nodded her head, craving more of that nuzzling.

Erza smiled and kissed Lucy's cheek and nuzzled it, thinking that she finally found a solution to help Lucy smile and be happy.

Lucy blushed more, but slightly smiled and hugged Erza as she nuzzled her. "T-T... Thanks..."

...

Couple hours later, it was finally night time, and Lucy had fallen asleep, due to the soothing contact that Erza was doing. Erza decided to scoop her up in her arms and carried her to the bed and gently laid her onto the soft bedding.

She stepped back and looked st the blonde sleeping, and gently smiled.

Couple seconds later, Erza realized the things she said and started to blush. Being close to the blonde had unintentionally caused her heart yo skip a beat. Nuzzling made it beat faster. And the kiss on the cheek... Erza was too busy trying to make Lucy smile.

Knock knock.

Erza turned at the sound of her door knocking and went to open it, revealing Mira with her usual smile.

"Hey Erza." Mira smiled.

"Hey."

"Just checking up on Lucy, and if there is anything that you need."

"Lucy is doing great actually." Erza smiled. "And can you get some cake ingredients? And extra icings?"

"I'm really happy to hear that. Where is she? And the cake ingredients will be taken care of."

"She's sleeping right now, and thanks."

Mira was about to say something else before a brunette roughly entered with a loud bang.

"Good morning bitches!" Cana slurred.

"Cana, it's night time" Mira sighed.

Cana paused for a second. "So?... Is it really? Who cares? Where's Lucy? I wanna take her to a bar. I miss my drinking buddy."

"She was never your drinking buddy." Erza crossed her arms.

"She wasn't?" Cana scratched her head for a second. "Hmm... Well she will be in the next few minutes."

"Take another step, I won't hesitate to cut you." Erza scowled.

Cana drunkenly stared at the redhead, wobbling slightly. Mira stood in the background, interested in what would happen.

"No fair man... Only you get to see Lucy, but I can't?" Cana whined.

"She's sleeping."

"Can't I just watch her?"

"No!"

"I bet you stare at her"

"I-"

"Like a pervert."

In a spilt second, a sword was formed, and Erza harshly smashed the sword extremely close to Cana. "Leave."

She wasn't asking. She was ordering Cana to leave. And she will do it with force if she have to.

"Eh?" Cana looked at the sword that cut too close to where she stood. "Be careful with these. Someone can get hurt."

Mira snickered a little before grabbing the back of Cana's shirt and pulled her back. "We're going yo take our leave then.

"Eh?! Already?! Erza didn't even serve us tea!"

"Why would I serve a drunk bitch tea?" Erza muttered angrily.

"A bitch? You're the bitch since you're hogging Lucy all to yourself! Who knows what you'd be doing to her. I bet you're doing naughty things with her, hehe" Cana hiccupped between. her sentences and wobbled with a drunkened grin.

Erza blushed and glared murderously at Cana, while Mira smirked and snickered.

"I'll be leaving with Cana, and Erza? Be sure not to be rough." Mira winked before she grabbed Cana and rushed out of Erza's apartment and disappeared.

Erza blushed more and let a agitated groan before closing and locking her door. She rested her head on the door and closed her eyes to review what just happened.

Why is she feeling so flustered right now? Why is her heart beating so fast?

Erza straighten herself and turned to walk to where Lucy is sleeping. Then Cana's voice rang in her mind about what she said. 'I bet you stare at her. like a pervert.'

"I don't stare..." Erza mumbled, with a red tint on her cheeks. "...maybe a little? O-Only because I'm concerned!" A darker blush formed on her cheeks.

What was going on? Erza can't stop thinking about it. That beautiful smile, gorgeous hair, and her heavenly eyes. The very embodiment of an angel, and Erza is captivated.

Then her lips... Jeezus... Is she...

Erza gently slapped herself as her heart beat heavily against her chest. "I need to get myself together. I need to stop thinking like this. This isn't a time to be having these thoughts..."

Erza looked past the doorframe and onto a sleeping figure of the blonde. She is going to do everything to make sure Lucy is happy anoccuring. Even with these new thoughts occuring.

 ** **A/N:**** ****Hope you like it ?****

 ** **Feel free to leave any suggestions for the future chapters. Any ideas or scenario to what should happen in the next series of chapters. I'll take them all and try to incorporate Them into my story ?****

 ** **Please comment and review on your thoughts. I don't bite ~****


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